My Name Is Greg Levine

...and I AM the President of the United States. Oh wait, no I'm not. I dunno. Agh.. I'm nuts.

Edit: Since this was short, and the thing I'm about to add is short too, well, here it is is all. The British title for the first Harry Potter book is "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone", as opposed to the sorceror's stone that we got in the US. That's also what Al and Ed are searching for in the anime series "Full Metal Alchemist" - the Philosopher's Stone. So why did they change the Harry Potter's title? Something to stew over for the night.

Edit Edit: HINT!

Beauty, Jokes, and Saying Goodbye

This entry is about three vastly different topics that are related for no other reason than I've got all three bouncing around my head today. When I am done I will take a nap

First off, I've recently (in the past couple of days) noticed that the Tech Campus is exceptionally beautiful. I'm really proud to go to a school that looks this good. In my opinion, and I'm probably biased, it looks better than Princeton. So suck on that, Tigers.

Lately I've gotten into a bad habit of telling and recieving jokes badly. For instance, look at this. My comment was, as I say there, intended as a joke. It came out not so much, mostly because my sense of humor is so dry that it's not noticable, doubly so online, and then triply so on the page of the girlfriend of a guy who, last time I checked, has a personal KOS order for me. But you know, I felt like I had to say something, so I said that. One of these days I'm sure I'll learn better.

Now, I'm not saying that I was in the right in this situation. Far from it, I realize where I made my mistakes, and I've tried to apologize, and whether or not the apology is accepted are the sole business of Kaylee. My concern is that, well, I concider myself a funny guy. I try to anyway. I like making people laugh. And I take great pride when I get someone to smile or feel better because I said something funny. So to hear from two seperate people in one night that what I intended as humorous was taken as an offence, well... I'm a little worried that I'm losing my touch. And really, that's all I'm good at is being a random fool online. It's why I'm so well liked (I hope). If I lose that, I don't know what's left of me. I've already lost James as a friend because he took what I said far to seriously. I don't want that to happen for any of my other friends, to...

Eh, the last note was something about the statement "I'm gonna let you go" to say goodbye on a phone call. If someone says that, it SOUNDS like they're trying to set their friend free from the burdon of being on the phone, when really, its the other way around. The person saying that is trying to be set free. Ugh....

Did you ever get to writing something, and then one thought lead to another, and then another? And you find out something about yourself that you didn't know before? I think I just did that. I'm gonna go lie down.

Fun And Games

First, a news quote:

"We will always be Muslims, Serbs or Croats," said Veselin Gatalo of the youth group Urban Movement Mostar. "But one thing we all have in common is Bruce Lee."

And now, more pressing matters of state. It turns out that now, after frustrating myself getting my GBA's shoulder buttons working, I have to actually exhibit some skill, too. X_X And here I thought the battle with Dragon Malificent was tough... I guess a lot of my frustration comes from learning, a little late in the game, that you really can't just throw a bunch of cards into a deck and hit A a bunch until the bad guy is dead. >_< I need to build a freaking deck strategy for Kingdom Hearts... Oh well... I'll level up some too. I'm at level 65 right now, and I have 500 HP and 900 CP. If I go up to level 70 I'll have over a thousand points, and hopefully by then I'll have made a decent deck strategy.

Speaking of Kingdom Hearts again, I've been thinking a lot about the KH2 a lot. I've already got an idea about how the opening would go. At least, how I am picturing it, based on what little knowledge I've got in my head. The game opens same as last one, with a dream about Sora in full motion video, except the dreamer in this case isn't Sora, but the mysterious Blonde Haired Kid we've all heard about. He wakes up in Twilight Town, and we quickly meet him and his friends in a manner similar to which Sora, Riku, and Kairi were introduced. Something happnes to interupt all the introduction, and BHK is rushed into battle against those strange white "nobody" creatures, which serves as the games tutorial, because all games have one.

From there we may jump to Kairi on the Destiny Islands, thinking about Sora and wondering where he is, just to update us on basically where we stand after the last game. She'll tell one of her friends the story (from her perspective, at least) of what happened during the first game. Then we rejoin Sora and his crew, in the middle of a battle field, surrounded by heartless. Sora and Donald and Goofy are fighting off the intruders on this unnamed plane, and you learn some of the newer battle mechanics like the drive forms. After facing off these simple villians, they arrive at Hollow Basteon, and learn that the Final Fantasy characters from Traverse Town have begun to settle in to their old home again.

A few more plot points are revealed here, and then we head to Disney Castle. They meet with Queen Minnie and, apparently, undergo a mission to lead Minnie towards something important, possibly a message from the King. This message begins the full story of the game, which, sadly, I don't know enough about to speculate on.

So there you have it. Oh yeah, SPOILERS!!!

I have a paper due Thursday. I thought it was due today until I went to class... I'm so glad I do that now-a-days. It's my final paper, so I'd assume it counts for a great deal. I've decided for my topic to be the controversy surrounding violence in video games. I need 5 sources, or there abouts. X_X This is gonna suuuuuuuck...

Okay, nothing left in me but bells and whistles. Gotta go.

Oh yeah, one more thing. I've decided to take up the hobby of tracking Spam IM's again. So if you want me to, send me it. Otherwise, keep them away from me.

And remember, in those dark corners at midnite, things aren't always what they seem...

Luck Be A Lady Tonight

I dunno why this was stuck in my head, but here you go.

They call you lady luck
But there is room for doubt
At times you have a very un-lady-like way
Of running out

Your on this date with me
The pickin's have been lush
And yet before the evening is over
You might give me the brush

You might forget your manners
You might refuse to stay
And so the best that I can do is pray

Luck be a lady tonight
Luck be a lady tonight
Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with
Luck be a lady tonight

A lady never leaves her escort
It isn't fair, it isn't nice
A lady doesn't wander all over the room
And blow on some other guys dice

Lets keep this party polite
Never get out of my sight
Stick with me baby, I'm the guy that you came in with
Luck be a lady tonight

Luck let a gentleman see
Just how nice a dame you can be
I know the way you've treated other guys you've been with
Luck be a lady with me

A lady never flirts with strangers
She'd have a heart, she'd have soul
A lady wouldn't make little snake eyes at me
When I've bet my life on this roll

Lets keep this party polite
Never get out of my sight
Stick with me baby, I'm the guy that you came in with
Luck be a lady tonight

So anyway, I've been playing Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, like I said. I REALLY need a new Game Boy/DS for it, even though my gut tells me I'll finish Sora's quest before Christmas. Still, I'll have a spiffy shiney new system to play Riku's side on. Whee!!!

Oh wait, that's right, I'm a slut.

*Holds up a sign* - "Will love for DS"

The Boondocks Rock

I found The Boondocks live journal. Yay free syndication!

But yeah, if you haven't seen the Boondocks on Adult Swim yet, you're missing out. It's such a good show. For serious.

And then I have a few rumblings about Harry Potter. Firstly, why are they so opposed to using technology? I saw the new movie last week, and it was just weird, namely the part where they teach the kids to dance using an old-timey record player. I don't get why they couldn't use a CD player or something. And then I find out the whole castle/school thing is hexed to prevent the use of electronic devices. I still have to ask... Why!? That's just closed minded and elitist.

Speaking of elitist, the whole wizards are better than muggles thing just rubbed me the wrong way. Why do wizards have to exist in a secret upper class? I think it's all a conspiracy. Magic is a skill as much as it is a talent. "Muggles" can use magic too with training, but wizards are simply elitist snobs. It's sad, really.

On Pickles, And Other Things

Matt: "How do they make pickles, anyway?"
Greg: "They put them in women's vaginas, obviously."
Matt: "I mean, how do they normally do it."
Greg: "Like that. That's why I don't eat pickles."
Matt: "I don't think that's really it."
Greg: "Why not? How do you know?"
Matt: "Call it a hunch."

I'm back in the saddle. I got into Lubbock from Austin at around 6 today. I had a great trip. I saw Jackie. After a little bit of struggling, I finally convinced her that as much as I wanted to, I couldn't be the boyfriend both of us wanted me to be for her. She took it really well, and I still got to spend a lot of time with her as a friend, which was really great. She's such a good person, and I'm glad she's in my life.

Okay, so aside from that, I spent time with family mostly. Clara turned 3, which was cool. I got her some Winnie the Pooh books. I never got around to playing Kingdom Hearts for either her or Lena on my Playstation, but it's okay. I ~DID~ manage to get my Game Boy recharged, and I've been playing Chain of Memories. I beat the Dragon form of Maleficent. Twas fun. Of course, first I got the L shoulder button working, and now the R one has decided to be sticky. X_X Anywho...... I had a good Thanksgiving dinner, and.... I dunno, it was kinda random....

Yeah, I'm done.

Blogthings - A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

I'm Smart!

Your IQ Is 125

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Letter From The King

I'm such a nerd. And they won't let me link to the site, but here's the address anyway, so HAH! http://db.gamefaqs.com/console/ps2/file/kingdom_hearts_script.txt

"Donald,
Sorry to rush off without sayin' goodbye, but there's big trouble brewin'. Not sure why, but the stars have been blinkin' out, one by one. And that means disaster can't be far behind. I hate to leave you all but I've gotta go check into it. There's someone with a 'key'-the key to our survival. So I need you and Goofy to find him, and stick with him. Got it? We need that key or we're doomed! So go to Traverse Town and find Leon. He'll point you in the right direction.

P.S. Would ya apologize to Minnie for me? Thanks, pal."

Yay I get to play again Wednesday.

Edit: Okay, I found another cool one.

Although my heart may be weak, it's not alone. It's grown with each new experience, and it's found a home with all the friends I've made. I've become a part of their heart just as they've become a part of
mine. And if they think of me now and then...if they don't forget me...then our hearts will be one. I don't need a weapon. My friends are my power!

I'm gonna make me some away message with these

Tresk or Druck?

Matt's got this remote controlled truck thingy. It's not quite remote controlled, more like it's self-guiding. For his electronics or something project, he's got to hook it up to a GPS and get it to drive itself around a parking lot. He was testing it tonight. He had it hooked into his computer, and it was sitting in his desk drawer, propped up. From my angle, it looked like it was peeking over the edge. And then its motor started up, and the truck was like... HUMPING the drawer. So my only conclusion was that Matt is going to create some sort of desk/truck hybrid. So, either a Tresk.. or a Druck. Which is it? Anyway, fun.

Magical Dealings

Last night I played a couple of multiplayer games of magic, thanks to AIM's chat function. Unfortunately, I was using my red/white weenie deck, which is great at killing off one player, but not as good against multiple opponants. It's quick, but not enough long-term gas. Oh well. So I got my ass handed to me by a Kaldra token, but I managed to pretty much kill him off in exchange. I realized that most of my competitive decks are really just focused for one-on-one matches, and don't have the extra "oomph" to last through a multiplayer game. I thought for a while and eventually I realized that I have a couple of decks that are much better suited for multiplayer.

The first one is a casual combo deck I made a while ago, when I discovered I had 4 Last Laughs and nothing to do with them. It uses Last Laugh, along with pro-Black creatures and Sphere of Grace to make the Laugh one-sided, and then some massive form of removal (I used to use Desolation Angel until I got some Armageddons) to trigger a massive, board-killing, life-decimating Laugh. The more players, the more lands/creatures, the better. It's a thing of beauty, especially because before I draw my kill card, no one wants to do anything for fear of setting off Laugh, pretty much locking the game for me to draw Armageddon.

After that, I have an old one, one I made back in the far-off days of Apocalypse. I found myself with 4 Armadillo Cloaks, 4 Soul Links, and 2 Spiritmongers. That's right, I have a cheesy lifegain deck. The mana is absolutely horrible, being not only 3 colors, but having almost all of its useful creatures at 5 mana. But if I can get the mana to work, it's the best. I recently cheesed out and put in 4 Thrashing Wumpuses, AKA the best Armadillo Cloak target on Earth. He starts thrashing, and you do not wanna be on the other side of that. And that thing in particular makes him a beating in multiplayer. Even if he doesn't manage to kill anyone in a 3 player game, each activation is still at least a 3 point life gain for me, just between him and the players. Any other creatures on the field are just gravy at that point.

Either one of these decks would be stellar in multiplayer, be it free for all or Two Headed Giant. Anyone wanna build the partner deck for that one? ^_^

In other news, Passion (the Kingdom Hearts 2 theme?) is available for download. Check it out here.

I'm Just Sane Enough

...to know how insane I am.

I had an interesting dream last night. No idea what it was about. Something about me driving around some random town with the family on my mom's town. Not sure why. Then I ended up at a doctors office waiting room. With my dad's family. Dad, Wendy, James, and Dylan. And me. I'm not quite sure why. It eventually came up that we were at a psychiatric doctors office, or something. It's all rather fuzzy. The thing I REALLY remember is that James was going on about how Jesus was diagnosed as being clinically insane, and Wendy was arguing with him about it. Yeah, that's pretty much the way that things are there, only with different arguments. The funny part of it is that Wendy and her kids are actually Jewish.

Agh.. Brian spacy.... Try to ignore any weirdness in the following rambling. Lessee... The title of this entry came to me earlier tonight. I was walking past a cop-car, like, right in front of it, and got the distinct impression that it was going to eat me. No one was in the car or anything, but I really feel that if someone had chosen that moment to turn on the lights and start the engine.... I woulda panicked and fell on my ass right there. O_O

Moving on. I went to Hastings today. It was cool. I bought a present for Jackie. Top secret though. I also got a chance to play Final Fantasy XII, though. That was cool. The game plays out... different. Not quite like FFX or VII, but also not quite like Kingdom Hearts. It's sorta a cross. You and your party run around a "stage" populated by enemies. When you hit the X button, the game pauses and an option menu comes up. "Attack, Magic, Summons, Items", like that. These options all work the way the do in the older Final Fantasy games. You pick an action, then game goes back into real time and your characters enact it for you, either until the target is dead if you chose "attack", or just the once for everything else. It was fun though. I got to kill a Tyrannosaur. It was awesome! I hereby add that to my list of "things I want."

Okay, I think I've squeezed all the toothpaste from this tube.

Interesting Developments

In our dorm room, we leave our shades up almost year round, because we have box fans in the windows. If you happened to be passing by my room just a few minutes ago, you would have seen an interesting sight. A six foot tall guy in blue boxers and nothing else was doing crunches, push-ups, and, most visibly, jumping jacks. Yeah, I was exercising. (You know you're outta shape when you don't even know how to SPELL that word.) *Gaps. I did 20 crunches, then 10 push-ups, and finished with a good hundred quick jumping jacks. Yeah, 100. I need more aerobic exercise, my heart is gonna kill me if I don't. In any case, I think I'll start with that plan, and just go up in incriments in five if any given number starts to be too easy. Sound good? Just for reference, my KaJuKenBo lessons started with something like 100 each pushups and crunches, and 1000 jumping jacks. And that was just a warm up. O_O

Also, note to self, try not to wear loose boxers. They were falling off your ass, Greg. x_x

Lesse... Just a quickie before I go. I've been talking to a few people the past few days about relationships and such. It seems like lots of people are asking me "What can I do to make him/her/you love me?" I wish I could give the answer. I was telling one person about how I manage to be completely irresistable to anyone, without even trying, and he asked me how I did it, and I honestly don't know. Of course, in a few minutes HE was completely taken with me too. I'm scary powerful. But that's my own problem. For most people, it seems to be the opposite. No matter what they do, they can't seem to get some person to like them. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

At the back of my head, I'm reminded of one strip of Megatokyo. Something was said, talking about dating sims, Piro's favorite kind of game, along the lines of "Say the right words, make the right choices, and any girl will be yours." I just can't find it. This is the closest I've come (bottom frame). But yeah, that seems to be the attitude a lot of people are taking. All I have to do is say or do the right things and I'll have the one I want. Unfortunately, life is rarely that simple, and people aren't defined by simple cut and dry choices. For starters, just think about how boring that would be? Seriously though, I hate having to say this, but more often than not, there ISN'T some magic phrase that will woo a girl off her feet. I believe that if the love is there, you won't need anything else, but if the love isn't there, well... and the worst part is that usually you don't find that out until it's too late.

Love stinks.

Edit: ...sometimes.

Time Delay

Okay, I'm officially starting a few countdowns. Here goes:

Nov 21 - Hikaru Utada's "Passion" (KH2 Theme) TV Debut.
Nov 22 - Home for Thanksgiving break.
Dec 07 - Last day of regular classes.
Dec 10 - Extended PTQ at Mad Hatters. Winner goes to Hawaii.
Dec 14 - Last day of finals. I GET TO GO HOME FOR WINTER BREAK!
Dec 22 - Kingdom Hearts 2 released in Japan. Must consider spoilerage
Dec 24 - I'm 21! Maybe I'll get drunk, but probably not.
Dec 25 - Yay Christmas. I've gotta buy some presents before this point.
Jan 0X - Possible visit to NJ. Not sure yet. Everything about winter break is a blur.

And then, the crown jewel of long distance goals:

Mar XX - Kingdom Hearts 2 North American release. *Spooge*

So yeah, there's what's going on in my life. I'm sure theres some other stuff going on too.

I've got a whole bunch of details to fill in there, too. Final projects and such. Vacation plans are almost wide open. I gotta schedule time with Jackie. I gotta fit some time to play with little Clara, and I'm sure Lena's gonna want a bit of my attention. And then, as I've been focusing on Kingdom Hearts so much lately, I need to go back to my Hard difficulty game of the first one and do some work on that. My master plan? Show Lena the Agrabah level (from Aladdin) and see if Clara wants to help me play with Winnie the Pooh in the 100 Acre Woods World. I won't beat the game, but I'll get something done at least while im there.

Oh yeah, while I've got you here, I just earlier remembered the dream I had last night. If you haven't seen Blade 2 it won't make any sense to you. For that matter, even if you have, it still won't. It's a dream. Dreams don't make sense ever. Rawr. Anyway, I was running around killing those super vampire things with lights. Yeah, the UV flashlight things that worked so well. Then the head vampire guy though, he was immune. It sucked. But I think I still managed to win. Not sure how. I mighta just woken up, but yeah. Yay pop culture nonsense.

My brain is falling apart at the scenes.

John Cusack Has Father-In-Law Issues

John Cusack is a good actor. That is, he acts in movies that I enjoy, and I enjoy his preformances in them. So yeah, good actor. Except for one small detail. the father of his significant other (wife, fiance`, girlfriend, whatever) always ends up dying. If you haven't seen High Fidelity, you need to. It's damn good movie. Same goes for Pushing Tin, a movie about air traffic controllers. In both of them, his girlfriend/wife's father dies, and while that in and of itself is not a major plot point, something important always happnes, just after the funeral. It's weird. I shall bring you more on this issue as it develops.

X-Box 360

I don't trust that thing. Yeah, the new X-Box. Just look at it. It's white. There hasn't been a white video game system since the Playstation, and honestly, the first one was just a little suspicious. And really, the PS1 was just grey. The X-Box 360 is pure white. It's like an Imperial Stormtrooper. And they're all wireless... No, no, nothing about this adds up at all. I may go for the stately silver Playstation 3.

On which I will play Kingdom Hearts 2!!! Actually, I hope to beat KH2 before the PS3 comes out, but still... Here's a list of all the things I'm excitied about for Kingdom Hearts 2:

-Tron World!
-Steamboat Willie World! (Go go retro goodness)
-Disney castle! (Yeah, I'm a dork)
-PIRATES! (Seriously, they got Jonny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Kiera Knightly for the POTC world)
-More storyline development!

Seriously, I've already ranted about how awesome the first one's story was. And there was a lot left unfinished. Riku and Mickey were locked on the wrong side of the final doorway, Kairi was left alone on their home of the Destiny Islands, and Sora, Donald and Goofy were alone wandering in the middle of nowhere. Apparently something else happened to them for the game Chain of Memories, but it seems that game was something of a removable sidequest. Important things happened, but nothing that'll be missed when KH2 starts. I've been looking at way too many rumors for the game, and I'm not sure I want to.

All I REALLY wanna know is the release date, and maybe watch a few preview videos. The commercials that made it to TV for the first game were really good. I hate to admit it, but half the reason I bought the game was because the "Simple and Clean" PlanetB remix was stuck in my head. (This was the same major reason I got FFX and X-2; the "Real Emotion" commercials got to me)The other reason was that I have a big nostalgia spot, including Disney characters, from Mickey, Donald, and Goofy, on to Aladdin. So that made the game actually look like it would be fun to play. Plus I had a bunch of extra store credit (I wrote about it a while back), so I got it. And I have not regretted it. It's a great game. Have I told you to buy Kingdom Hearts enough yet? Do you have it? Why not? Go! Now!

And Chain of Memories. Man my DS can't come soon enough.

What Is It Good For

This came up on the Daily Show tonight. Felt like looking up the lyrics, and then sharin them with y'all:

War! - huh- yeah-
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh

War! – huh – yeah-
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again y’all

War! – huh – good God
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me…

Ohhh… War! I despise
Because it means destruction’
Of innocent lives

War means tears
to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go to fight
and lose their lives

I said - War! Huh – Good God y’all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again

War! Whoa, Lord
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me…

War! It ain’t nothing but a heartbreaker
War! Friend only to the undertaker
War! It’s an enemy to all mankind
The thought of war blows my mind

War has caused unrest in the younger generation
Induction then destruction-
Who wants to die?

Ohhh… War – Good God Y’all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it, Say it, Say it

War! Uh-huh – Yeah - Huh!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me…

War! It ain’t nothing but a heartbreaker
War! It’s got one friend, that’s the undertaker
War has shattered many a young mans dreams
Made him disabled bitter and mean
Life is much to precious to spend fighting wars these days
War can’t give life, it can only take it away

War! Huh – Good God y’all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again

War! Whoa, Lord
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me…

War! It ain’t nothing but a heartbreaker
War! Friend only to the undertaker
Peace Love and Understanding;
tell me, is there no place for them today?
They say we must fight to keep our freedom
But Lord knows there’s got to be a better way

War! Huh – Good God y’all
What is it good for?
You tell me
Say it, Say it, Say it

War! Huh – Good God y’all
What is it good for?
Stand up and shout it.
Nothing!

So true.

So in other news, now that I've wasted a good chunk of space, here's the highlight of my day. A girl friend of mine got into a fight with some other girl, over some stupid thing (*cough*Mike*cough*), and I got dragged into it. I wish I'd saved the chat, because it was quite entertaining. The best part was when the offending girl brought her new boyfriend in with her, and he threatened to use his gang (first it was the mob, then it was just A mob, the generic pitchforks and torches thing I guess?) before settling on an inner city gang.

So... This guy's solution to dealing with a girl that upset his girlfriend is to go get a gang of thugs to beat her up? Where in does this make sense? Also the guy (19) decided I sounded like a 13 year old dork, despite the fact that I was the only one in the room making intelligent arguments, plus the oldest. I'm not 13. A dork, maybe. I wear that tag with pride.

Toilet Seats

So Jackie went and sent me this comic, thereby sparking the age old (apparently) debate about guys leaving the toilet up. I'd never really understood it. I always got it confused, thinking I should leave the seat UP, so it doesn't get dirty. Either that or I should leave the whole thing, seat and cover both down, to keep stuff from getting out, like in the movie Dreamcatcher. Only, not aliens.

Now, to be fair, I grew up in a house with two younger brothers as my only siblings, and through it all, my mom had a personal attached bathroom to her bedroom. She would often lock herself in there for stretches and read her romance novels. In any case, in a house dominated by males, we'd never considered that someone could actually not pay attention and FALL IN. I had never even considered it until just today, when a couple girls told me. Perhaps its just how I was raised, going from sharing bathrooms with both brothers, to sharing them with just PJ the one year we lived on Allison Rd, to having my own personal bathroom in Austin. And again, I'd shared public bathrooms at restaurants with just other men. Even the facilities here at Bledsoe, which all sit down models (no urinals), are shared by only men. So the idea of thinking specifically about a woman coming in and having to use the toilet after me may simply have never crossed my mind.

But I don't see why men have to do all the work. I mean, I occasionally have to sit on a toilet, too (it's called pooping), and I haven't ever fallen in, even after sharing facilities just with men. Do you ladies want to know why? Because I CHECK before I sit down. I don't just back into the stall and plop down. I walk in, facing the toilet, close the door if there's a stall, and check. I mean, how hard is it to look at a toilet and think, "Oh my, no, my butt could fit right through there"?

And then, once you've identified the problem (which is the big reason chicks fall in), you have to *Gasp* lower that seat. Oh, such hard work, going with gravity and all. Oh no, we'll have none of that. Make guys lift (work against gravity) AND lower.

WTF?

Come on, take some personal responsibility. It's not my fault if you don't check where your ass is going. But with all the other things guys do to be nice to girls, like holding doors open, pulling out chairs, paying for the dates, do you really have to ask us to lower a seat for you too? Do you want us to think you really are that helpless? Or retarded?

Again, to be fair, this is not the most retarded thing I've ever heard from a woman. In the intrest of fair play, here it is: When I was in debate class in high school, one of my classmates was a girl named Amanda. I don't remember her last name, but she was, in my mind at least, hot. Not like, movie star sexy gorgeous, but she had something about her that made me like looking at her. But she said some of the dumbest things about girls in general, it was almost funny except she was serious. The incident in question, the one that will forever stick out in my mind, was some discussion of date rape. I don't remember exactly how the class got to talking about this, but her position was basically that if a girl is dressing in sexy / revealing / appealing clothes to a party, she's basically asking to have sex, and shouldn't complain about being raped. That was, and is still, in my mind, the most retarded things I've ever heard. A girl who looks pretty is not asking to be raped. No one ever is. And anyone who thinks that a sexy dress is an excuse to rape the wearer has some sort of problem.

The story has a happy ending though. One of the teachers, a woman, spoke up and said, "Well, Amanda, what you're wearing could be considered overly sexy." It was true. "Does that mean you're giving all the guys in this class permission to rape you?" Before Amanda had a chance to answer, I spoke up. Keeping my right hand on the mouse so I could play Snood, I raised my left fist in the air and shouted "Lets go!"

Stephen Merrit gave me a high five for that.

EDIT: Oh yeah, my proposed solution to the toilet seat thing: I've decided to start an agressive campaign of leaving toilet seats up. Even when I poop. Seat goes up. Take that.

Either that, or I cover up the whole seat, just so they can see what it's like to lift the seat.

Mickey Mouse Picks On Cats

I just watched Steamboat Willie. It's a great cartoon, and undoubtably a classic, but I've never seen such terrible cartoon violence. You think Tom and Jerry are bad? You have NO IDEA. Mickey Mouse is just cruel to animals. And I'm not talking like "Donald is a duck, and Goofy is a dog" kind of animals. Except for Mickey, Minnie, and Pete, the animals in this cartoon were normal animals.

Okay, so the goat had it coming. He ate Minnie's music to "Turkey In The Straw," so it's only fair that Minnie gets to play him like a phonograph. But then Mickey goes and shows off all the new ways he can make sound, because, after all, it's a sound cartoon. First, he's banging on barrels and pots and pans, and it's all good. Then a cat walks by. And I thought, aww, they're gonna have the cat meow for the thing. After a couple mews, Mickey STEPS on the cat, and starts yanking its tail, and then swang the cat around his head, all so that the cat meowed to the music. Then threw the cat away and started choking a duck to the music instead. Simply awful. It makes his playing the teeth of a cow like a xylophone tame by comparison.

So this all started because I've been looking forward to one of Mickey Mouses upcoming projects - Kingdom Hearts 2. Yeah, I'm getting all excited about it. Just over a month until it hits in Japan. I've decided I want to play the game on my own to find out exactly what the story is, so this means DON'T TELL ME HOW IT ENDS!! All I wanna know is how it turns out.

Oh, and I need my DS to finish Chain of Memories, too. Damn that dragon's hard.

Lack Of Cheerleaders

I've decided that the reason there's so much depression in the world is due to a lack of cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are like nature's Prozac. You can't help but feel good when you see a team of girls in a skirt and a tight t-shirt bouncing around with energy...







See? Don't you feel better now?

If not, here's some advice for you from Emma:



So go find some cheerleaders and/or some duct tape (the best tape ever) and you'll feel right as rain in no time!

Extraordinary Powers

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