Beyond Good And Evil

I've figured out what was wrong with the Star Wars prequels. Or rather, ANOTHER thing that was wrong with them. So far, I've pointed out the lack of a Han Solo-character in a world full of Jedi, and of course the terrible writing and acting. Here's the one I think really clinches it. Or at least, what makes these movies not "Star Wars" movies. In a word, Stormtroopers. Oh sure, they're called CLONE Troopers now, but just look at them; they're Stormtroopers, and that's the problem.

Episodes 4-6 were clear and simple. There were the good Rebels and the evil Empire. The main characters were almost stereotypically iconic, and the rest were interchangeable soldiers, wearing uniforms so you could tell who was the good guys and who was the bad. Just think back to the beginning of A New Hope. Those Rebel Troops lining up in the hall, making a valiant effort to hold back the imperial boarding party, and then, when the storm troopers charge in, guns blasting, there is no question, they are the bad guys. The only somewhat grey character in the trilogy was Lando Calrissian, but he was really a good guy deep down. Sure, everyone's first thought is, "He betrayed Han Solo, his friend." But really, he didn't have a choice. He was making what he thought was the right decision. Turn over a wanted criminal to the rightful authorities, and his little mining operation could remaing autonymous the way he wanted. Otherwise, he thought, his people would have suffered under the Empire's rule. He was given the choice of Han Solo against the entire city, and I for one think he made the right choice. (Besides, he blew up the friggen Death Star. That makes it all better. He's a good guy.)

But in Episodes 1-3, the lines between good and evil are totally blurred. The droid army and Trade Federation are bad, obviously, and so are the Sith (Red 'sabers = bad). But even there, the lines are blurring. The Federation is controlled by Darth Sideous, AKA Senator Palpatine, who we frequently see all buddy-buddy and nice-nice with Queen Amidala and the other members of the "good" old Republic, which is itself, not so good. So it's hard to tell where the bad guys end and where the good guys begin. Padme get's pretty upset with the Republic in the first episode, so does that mean that the whole Republic is bad? I dunno.

Even the Jedi, the ultimate forces of good in the galaxy, are in-fighting. Qui-Gon Jinn (first good guy we meet in the movie) argues with Yoda (good guy from the classic trilogy) about the prophecy (which, by the way, is mysteriously dropped after TPM), and later, the whole Council starts getting antsy about Anakin, one of their own. I'm not saying that their suspicions weren't justified, just that it's a little unsettling to see the good guys being sneaky and such.

And then we see the Clone Troopers. Obi-Wan (good guy, for anyone still keeping track) discovers them in AOTC on Kamino, and an Ackbarian air of danger (It's a trap!) can be felt by the audience. There's this huge army of clones out, just in time to fight this new war. But in the end, when the chips are down and the Jedi are surrounded by the seperatists, the clones save the day. They're heroes! They're good guys! ...But they look like evil Stormtroopers...? We are confused. And ROTS doesn't help things at all. They spend the first 3/4's of the movie as good guys. Clones fight along side and under the command of Jedi Knights, waging the war against the rebels (who in this movie are bad, I guess? More on the "seperatist movement" later.) Then all of a sudden, the Emperor (bad, but part of the legitimate government, so he was good?) issues Order 66 ("Kill all the Jedi", aka bad), and the Clone Troopers follow. They go from good to evil in no time flat. It's true that they were just following orders, but it's confusing to the audience to see such a sudden change in attitude, from hero to enemy in 0 seconds flat.

And it's especially jarring in a Star Wars movie. In the galaxy of the Empire, the world is polarized. There's the dark side of the Force, and the good side. There isn't any in-between. And that's what made the movies what they are. They, like the Transformers I mentioned yesterday, set up strict guidelines between good and evil. There isn't an inbetween for them. There's no "Grey side" to the force. If you think you're on it, you're probably on the dark side and in denial. All the rebels are good, and all the imperials are evil. It's always a trap. You know the score. Episodes 1-3 aren't like that at all. To be fair, neither are most of the other movies made today, but they aren't trying to be Star Wars. The thing that made the classic Trilogy so amazing was that it was the classic literary hero's quest. Straight forward, without all the politicking and subterfuge. This isn't supposed to be "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington." Hell, this isn't even supposed to be "Mr. Skywalker Goes to Coruscant." It's Star Wars. It's "Mr. Skywalker Rights Wrongs with his Glowy Sword of Good." It's the Hero's Quest. And the Prequels aren't.

There was an interview with George Lucas I saw a while ago, where he commented that really, the way he wanted all 6 movies to be seen, the story was supposed to be the Fall and Redemption of Anakin Skywalker. That's not a bad idea, in theory. In Theory. But it didn't work out that way. The classic trilogy does not play out as "the redemption of Anakin Skywalker." It plays out as "the redemption of Luke Skywalker." The fact that he's redeming Anakin doesn't matter. This isn't Anakin's story. It's Luke's. It's the story of how a little desert farmer from the middle of nowhere goes on to destroy the most powerful evil in the galaxy. The turning of Darth Vader back into Anakin isn't a triumph of the senior Skywalker and how he was able to fight the darkness with his own inner good. It's a triumph of his SON being a powerful enough force of good to rid Vader of the terrible evil inside him. If the story were supposed to be the redemption of Anakin Skywalker, then Anakin himself would have to realize "Oh my God... I killed a classroom full of innocent Jedi Children. I'm a Monster!" then go around helping people who needed him, trying to live down his evil deeds and make good for them, climaxing in his final duel with his former Master, and eventual triumph over the entire Empire he himself helped create.

Those movies were never made. While the idea is a decent one, and with proper execution (not Lucas'), it could have been a sextilogy even better than than the classic trilogy, it's just not possible right now. The prequels, according to Lucas, were meant to build Anakin up as a great hero, then have him horribly fall from grace and become the evil Lord Vader, who we would cheer for as he redeemed himself in episode 6. That is part of why they failed. They were written from that perspective, or at least attempted to, but their "sequels" were already around. Darth Vader is ingrained in our culture as a force of terribly evil. The audience is incapable of accepting him as a hero at all. Even the movies themselves refuse to allow him to reach his hero-dom. His entire history of successes are tinged with dark undertones, from the very end of Episode 1, where Palpatine tells the little boy "We shall watch your carreer with great intrest," before placing his hands on Anakin's shoulders from behind in a less than friendly way (bad touch). And all throughout the trilogy, we're left with the impression that Anakin's victories were questionable. When Luke was in his X-Wing blowing up the Death Star, his face flickered with many emotions. He was excited about actually flying his own space ship for a big battle. He was a little fearful and nervous about this new situation. He panicked as he realized that he was being fired upon, or that he had just flown through a huge explosion for some reason. ("I got a little cooked but I'm all right.") You could feel his sense of duty as he arranged Wedge and Biggs for that last attack run, and how torn he was when Biggs died, and then when he had to send Wedge, who's job was effectively providing an extra, X-Wing set of shields, out of the trench before he too was lost. And finally, when he let go and used the force to guide his proton torpedo down the shaft, he had a look of utter calm on his face, not so much that he KNEW what was going to happen, but that he had faith in it. Anakin is pretty much the opposite in battle. After the rediculous retardation he displayed at the battle of Naboo ("Let's try spinning!"; "Uh oh, I flew into, blew up, and flew outta the bad guys control ship on accident!"; etc.), Anakin's battle face varies between two emotional states: cocky egotistical overconfidence (think the fighter scene at the beginning of Sith), and cut-loose evil rage fury (slaughtering Tusken Raiders, Jedi Children, etc). This is supposed to be our dramatic hero? It's impossible to look up to him. It's impossible to care about him. It's impossible to think of him in any way other than a flawed character who will eventually become totally evil, and therefor impossible to rejoice at his being turned back to the good side at the end of it all. Far more than being just simply terrible movies, the prequels have managed to alter the way we percieve a classic Trilogy. If we'd know then what we know now, that Anakin Skywalker was a douche-bag, then we wouldn't have wanted Luke to save him. We wouldn't have believed his impassioned pleas that there was good in him. And the redemption of Darth Vader would have felt like the redemption of Adolf Hitler.

And that's why I choose to believe that the Prequel trilogy are not Star Wars movies. Oh yeah, sure, Lucas has them locked into his special "canon", but they're bullcrap. I reject them. I gave them a shot. I really did. Episode 3 was actually a pretty entertaining movie, when Anakin wasn't talking, and if I could forget that it was supposed to be part of the Star Wars universe.

Okay, I really went off there. I had a lot of other little things planned. I wanted to talk about how the US government screwed up their case against one of the 9/11 terrorists, and lost their shot at the death penalty, and say how it was good because now he won't be a martyr. I really think life is a much worse penalty for these religious nuts than death. Death means that their last thought is something along the lines of "YAY! VIRGINS!" Life means they have to consider that maybe what they did was wrong. They have to face their conscious until their eventual death, which, unlike an execution during a war, which might be considered honorable, will be something pathetic like dying of a colon infection (or kidney disease?)

I also wanted to mention that I was planning on reformatting my HD. I want to get another external drive first, though, so if something goes wrong, I have a backup, so it won't be for a while. I'll detail the process later, then.

I do wanna end with this, though: Where did "Hello Kitty" come from? Does she have a cartoon? A theme park? It seems to me that someone managed to take the idea of a licenced property (think Star Wars lunchboxes and Transformers backpacks), and simply create the licence out of thin air. Imagine seeing a line of Thomas the Tank Engine toys and paraphanalia without the existance of Shining Time Station. This is the world I live in, thanks to Hello Kitty.

Oh wait, I have wikipedia. Duh.

The Embodiment of Good

Everyone made fun of me for being a Transfan for the past 20 years. Well, check this out, everyoneOne Billion Chinese can't be wrong, eh?

I'm sure that tomorrow night, after a long day's work at Target, I'll have a meditation on the nature of good and evil. Not because of Target. More because I saw this link, as well as the original Star Wars Trilogy earlier today. Not the prequels. Those are dead to me, mostly. Another bit of pop culture trivia that I've filed away into my massive database of a brain, but not truely Star Wars enough to be called Star Wars.

Maybe I'll rate them with Star Wars, though. Yeah, that's it. Senator / Emperor Palpatine is Ronald Reagan (according to the Boondocks' Huey, his trio of 6-letter names - RONALD WILSON REAGAN - give him the mark of the beast), and after coming into power, he releases Star Wars Episode 4, namely the Star Wars Program. Gasp!

But yeah, I'm totally remaking the series when I get rich and famous next week. Or whenever. I'll tell you how that's going when it, uh... Goes.

One LAst Thing about the X-men

...and then I swear I'll hit the hay.

But yeah, look at the mutants running around in X-Men:

Storm: I control the weather.

Iceman: I make ice.

Nightcrawler: I go BAMF!

Cyclops: I shoot laser beams outta my eyeballs.

I could go on, but yeah...

So there's Rogue. She's cool, she absorbs peoples energy, and absorbs any mutant's powers as well. And for a lotta people it makes sense. She touches Cyclops, and her eyeballs light up. She touches Nightcrawler, and she can bamf. She can combine powers, which could make her the ultimate threat, given the circumstances. Yadayada yada...

Here's where it screws up. There is a mutant called The Blob. His mutant power is that... he's fat. Really fat, but still. Obesity is not a mutation. Its a terrible problem. I think that's just a weird thing to call a "power." But it is. I've seen Rogue grab him, and she absorbs his, uh... weightyness? She stomped the ground and made an earth quake, or something. Of course, she didn't get fat, because really, who's gonna ruin that figure?

But yeah, tell me how that makes sense. Or how she absorbs the mutant power of Angel, who has the amazing talent of, uh... Having wings. That's gonna be the one I wanna see in the next movie....

Oh Anna Paquin, you can be my angel any time..

Funny Quote

I was watching X-Men 2 with the commentary. Cuz that's the kinda thing I do. They were talking about the scene where Mystique is in the tent with Wolverine, about how Mystique can "be anyone's type." It went to a weird place...

Director: And it eventually goes to talk about what Wolverine really wants...
Cinematographer: ...Sex with Striker.

O_O!

...With Sexy Results

"Do you think ponies just grow on trees?"

"What the hell kinda question is that!? It's a large four-legged mammal!"

I think I've found the perfect solution to our nation's obiecity(sp) problem: make the country clothing-optional. I'm not saying forced nudity, just setting it up for a little peer-pressure. The majority of people that take advantage will be better looking, and seeing them will hopefully inspire some of the more overweight people to get in to shape.

Behold the power of my massive brain!

WTFness...

He's singing all the nations. It's pretty impressive. Can you do that? Now I just need ot find the one of him singing all the words in the English language.

I've had a pretty nerdy day. Here are some of the highlights:

Spider Man is useless in a desert. He's great in a city, or in any enclosed space, but in a flat area, he's no good. It was argued that he was super strong, but I wager that while he's strong for a normal man, he's still about even with Batman. That said...

Batman could take Spider Man. If Batman ever figured the web-slinger to be a problem, he would solve that the same way he keeps Superman in check. It's a well documented fact that Bats keeps some kryptonite around, just in case. For Spider Man, he'd be able to create some sort of chemical that would neutralize Parker's web-fluid. Without that, Batman has the advantage, since he's got the element of surprise (imagine Spidey's webbing giving out in mid-swing), and ninja training. The jury is still out on how Spidey would fare vs. the big S himself, but with proper warning, Peter Parker could probably pull a few strings and aquire some kryptonite.

All this came up on the way to a Magic tournament. We ended up being the only three (me, Jackie, and our friend Austin), so we played, I won (since, as it turned out, I was the only one who brought decks, and I had the pick of the litter), and ended up doing alright in terms of prizes(I pulled a WB shockland. W00t!) Also, I bought next volume each for Ultimate X-men and Batman/Superman, as far as I've read.

We got back home, and ended up talking about back-masking, the practice of recording words and then flipping them and adding them to otherwise forwards songs. I'm too lazy to get the link now, but bug me about it later. Anyway, the one that stood out was the one from the old Poke`rap. The part where they shouted "GOTTA CATCH EM ALL! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!" Now, THEY want you to believe that if you flip that, you get "I love Satan." Not true. But freakishly enough, it DOES translate to "Dead Amish Guy." I didn't believe it, but I tried saying "Dead Amish Guy Dead Amish Guy" into the sound recorder and flipping it, and yeah it works out to "gotta catch em all." I guess it's only logical that Nintendo would hate the Amish, but really...

And speaking of WTFness...

Some Pictures Before Sleep

So I found this picture for my wallpaper, and I had to show you.


That lead me to get this.


And then this next one was just cool, and sitting next to the other two in my "Downloads" folder, so why not.


Now I'm gonna go to sleep, so gnight.

Quick Reboot

My comp needed a quick (for my rig, anyway...) restart, so here are a few things on my mind, via PSP:

I've lost my DS. I don't know where, but my hunch is the theater, and some kid found it and just kept it. Suppose I can't blame him, but my faith in humanity dropped a notch.

{This is the point at which I started typing on my computer, which is now rebooted, and much easier for text entry.}

Anyway, I've decided to bite the bullet and just go ahead and buy a new system. Actually, I'm going all out. I'm gonna import a DS Lite (they're region free, so that's not a problem), and buy new copies of both the games I had in my DS at the time: Kirby's Canvas Curse and Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. I'm not too upset about losing either of those, I guess. Kirby was pretty easy, and I enjoyed playing it. On the other hand, I was actually sort of playing Kingdom Hearts nearly like some sort of chore, as though it were required reading for Kingdom Hearts 2. I managed to make it through Sora's story fine, and was in the middle of Riku's "Reverse/Rebirth," which is sort of extra, I guess, so I won't mind not having beaten it. Besides, I cheated. GameFAQ's has a game "script", revealing the entire story without all the messy battling. So I know how it ends anyway. Still, I'll probably play it through once I re-get it. In fact, I have a dream of taking a Kingdom Hearts vacation of sorts, playing through the whole series over the course of a couple of weeks. This isn't for at least a year from now, since I want to beat KH-2 right away first, and then take a break, sorta.

So, in thinking about Kingdom Hearts and such, combined with last night's writing bug, and another bug I saw at work today (Spider Man), I found myself on this train of thought: What do Superman, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Luke Skywalker, and Eragon have in common? Give up? (The last one may have thrown you.) Here's the one I have in mind, anyway. They're all orphans. Why is that? What is it about being a hero that means that you can't have any parents? Frodo's parents are never mentioned, and neither are Neo's, and though they're never explicitly denied, you'd think that a person's parents would play a big enough part in their life to matter, right? But lot's of people have parent issues. The dude from Final Fantasy X (Tidus, I guess), his father turned out to be the very incarnation of evil in the distant future, or something. I can't remember his real name, but Robin from the Teen Titans comic, his dad died while he was on duty, before he got a chance to tell him the truth. Or something. I'm a little sketchy on the details. But Superman's parents sent him a far away planet as the sole survivor of his race (more or less). Bruce Wayne saw his parents shot by a thief. Parker's parents died (in a plane crash, according to ULTIMATE SPIDERMAN), then his Uncle gets killed by the robber he let get away. Luke Skywalker is raised by his aunt and uncle as well, who are killed by, oddly enough, his uncle's step-brother.

If you were wondering why I referred to everyone by their "secret identity" with the exception of Superman, well, here's my reasoning, courtesy of Bill (the one that got Killed)

An essential characteristic of the super hero mythology is, there's the super hero, and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When he wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic that Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses, the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, he's unsure of himself... He's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race.

I dunno, I just like that quote. I was surprise I hadn't posted it before.

What follows now is from a couple of text messages I sent today during my lunch break:

Hot dogs are delicious. Very delicious. I'm glad I can eat them at work all I want. Also, there are no good sitcoms. Were there ever? I mean, was I just fooling myself? I'm so glad I've cut down on TV. It's really not that good.

I dunno, I just found the revelation about sitcoms startling. I used to watch Full House, Family Matters, Home Improvement, etc, RELIGIOUSLY. Not like, I followed the characters or anything. Just that it was "the best thing on." Now, I look back and think they were bad for my brain.

I've been pissing and moaning about how terrible my computer is. After pondering it a bit, I'm prolly gonna get myself an Apple laptop. Low range, but still high up enough that it'll run WOW better than what I've got here. That'll be exciting. I've tried to stop thinking of it as being better or worse than the computer I have now, and more of it being somewhat parallel. One'll be the PC, more of a strict computer for important business, and also movies and other multimedia affairs, but which is sadly docked to its spot in the house. The other will by my Apple, which will be for fun and randomness. Or something like that. We'll see.

Finally, I've decided where to let my writing bug loose. Earlier today, I sat and watched the first three episodes of the Transformers (Generation 1, natch), the three part "More Than Meets The Eye," while fiddling with the Alternators 'Prowl' and Cybertron 'Evac' I'd bought the night before. At work, the idea crept back into my head. I've had it before. A school for Transformers, when they were "kids," or juveniles, or whatever. As I rolled it about in my head, I realized that really, Transformers are fresh out of the box with all the "knowledge" they need, but there are a few things that can't be learned from a file, only experienced, so an "Autobot Academy" of sorts may actually be of use. Plus, since the Autobots draw their ranks from robots built for manual labor as opposed to combat, a re-education may be necessary.

This story is gonna be set on Cybertron, in the present. The robots on Cybertron who DIDN'T go to Earth with Prime and company have spent four million years in a sort of stale mate. There wasn't enough energy to do much of anything, really. The battlefront on Earth has become something of the main combat field, with Cybertron being merely a sort of headquarters, home to mostly civilians. Though they've been around for the four million years the Ark was dormant, they didn't do much of note.

Anyway, my main character is going to be something like the Soundwave / Blaster of his time. Young, hip, Earth Pop culture junkie, intelligence position, non-vehicle alt mode, that sorta thing. He doesn't get little cassettes or anything though. I decided that, for the alt mode of a spy in 2006, instead of going with a tape recorder (or iPod, the modern equivalent), you'd want a fully technical device. For a time I considered a PSP, but that didn't sit well. Something else fit better - a laptop. I was thinking about making him an Apple laptop, as an homage to my upcoming rig, but really, Transformers (at least now adays) aren't brand specific, and I couldn't find a reason to make him "Apple" any more than he should be "Windows". He'll prolly run his own operating system, and just have a generic looking shell, like most other laptops. Only, where the company logo is on most laptops, you'll see this:


Gnight folks.

Writing Bug

The writing bug bit me, but I'm too tired to scratch. I need a desk job. Somewhere I can peck away at a keyboard all day and have it look like work, when in reality I'm writing the next great popular novel. Or movie. Or comic. Or manga. Conversely, you could attach the prefix "web-" to any of those, and you'd probably have a more accurate description of my work.

This bug bites me often, lately, and I really need to let it out. It happens most often when I'm watching TV. Now, there was a time when I was a TV junkie. I'd watch TV almost 24-7, unless I had to sleep. And there was always something on that would be entertaining. That's changed recently. Teen Titans got pulled off the air. I've seen all the old Futuramas and Family Guy eps, and not much else on Adult Swim is satisfying me. Star Trek on Spike is all re-runs, obviously. Always was, technically, but it's gotten to where I've seen them all, so they're no longer "new to me". A lot of what I used to was simply good, but not great. I'm down to what I consider "great."

My current TV viewing is limited to the following:

The Daily Show
The Colbert Report
The West Wing
The Boondocks

I think that just about covered it. Lot's of "The's", eh? The first two are really pretty much daily (no kidding), but the second two I'm considering getting on DVD. (Conversely, I know a friend who has nearly the entire run of the West Wing on his computer, but I believe in supporting quality work. Yay Capitalism!)

I'm looking at getting a new laptop, because the one I have isn't cutting it. The extra monitor's even getting to be buggy. How about that, eh?

Okay, this was supposed to just be a little one paragraph blip, but kinda got away from me. I'm sure I'll write more later, so stay tuned. Night.

Target Locked

I want this game. It's the ultimate "God Game." You're guiding the very construction of a planets biology and sociology. Intelligent design indeed,

So yeah, I think I talked yesterday about how I was either coming in late or leaving early for work today. Turns out, that's all bullshit. Lemme explain. I called in, and explained that I was pushing against my 40 hours, so should I be late or leave early? "Come in late." So, sure, I showed up at 4:30. I clocked in and found that, perfect, I had 34 hours already. So, just 6 horus today, plus a 30 minute lunch, and I'm out at 11 exactly. Yay.

Time passes. I enjoyed a morning at the mnvies with my family and Jackie. I discovered that my DS had gone missing. (._. I think it's with Jackie.) Work was okay, but a little tiring. Ah well. 6 hours and I'm out, right? No. "Oh, you can't leave, its just an hour of overtime before the week rolls over, and we really need the help." X_X Sigh. Of course, I stayed. Till a little after 1AM.

*Shrugs.* I'm not really mad because I had to stay. That happens all the time. I'm made because I was told something I wouldn't get. I'm upset because if I'd known the truth the whole time, I would have come in on time, and skipped the movie, gotten 3 extra hours instead of 1.

Anyway, I'm doing okay. Work tomorrow, 1.5 to close. Whee! And I picked up the first two volumes of Ultimate Spiderman. New bathroom reading material, and something to take my mind off the missing DS. (So close to beating COM.... ;_;) Ok, I need to get some sleep now. Gnight all.

Not Sure How I Found This, But...

"How to Survive a Robot Uprising"

This guy wrote a that book. He has a PHd in robotics. I really wanna read it now. Must. Get. To. Barnes and Nobles.

Also, I'm still playing Chain of Memories for GBA. On my DS. I'd go back and call it COM, but that's too many acronyms. But yeah, I beat Sora's story! YAY! I'm mostly caught up to where I'll needa be for Kingdom Hearts II. Whee! Right now I'm working on Riku's story, "Reverse/Rebirth." It's cool, going through the game backwards. All the bosses that were rediculously hard going through the later levels in Sora's story are now rediculously easy. Take THAT, Malificent and Captain Hook. I like it, though. I've always been a sucker for an anti-hero, and redemption quests.

I've been going through, lining up Sora to the "hero's quest", a la "The Hero With A Thousand Faces." It's helping me make sense of the games' stories a lot more. ^_^

Tomorrow's gonna be tricky. I'm scheduled to work 8.5 hours tomorrow (and more if they go late, natch) but I've gotten close enough to my 40 hour max that I can't work more than 6.5, so I may get to take at least a little of tomorrow off. YAY! Now the only question is... When?

Not Talk This Way, Yoda Should... Mmm...

So I've been thinking about it, and I need to go back to see The Empire Strikes Back another time. You see, I don't think that they really intended for Yoda to truely speak in his odd backwards talk. At least, not completely. Here's what I think happened. When Luke lands on Dagobah, looking for a "great warrior" of a Jedi Master Yoda appears as an old crackpot alien. He certainly looks the part. Short, green, dressed in rags, and talking crazyspeak.

Luke plays along, since the little green man says he will take him to Yoda, but eventually loses his temper. "I cannot teach him," Yoda says. "The boy has no patience." He's speaking fluent English (Basic, for all those SW Fans out there), no longer in the backwards talking manner of the crackpot. If he were, the structure would look more like "Teach him I cannot. No patience has the boy." Something like that, anyway. Nope, here we see Yoda speaking the way we expect a wisened old Jedi Master to speak.

However, he does slip up a few times. Nothing major, and still in proper grammer, barely, but enough to reinforce the idea that he can't talk. "Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?" "Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny; consume you it will." If you wanna stretch it, that "forever" could be "for ever", and in that sense it works. But I think that someone at Lucasfilm heard the idea that Yoda would be speaking funny for the first bit of his appearance, and just missed the fact that it was only his first bit. That's why we get classic lines like "Your father he is," and "Around the survivors a perimeter create!" X_X

Anyway, join me next time when I explain which Spiderman movie was better and why.

Hand Held HIjinks

Wow, it's been a while since I've blogged. Sorry about that... Geez, like a week. And I've had all this stuff bouncing around my head that needs talking about, and now it all seems to just slip by. Part of the problem is World Of Warcraft. I seem to be devoting a lot of my free time to it. You'll note, I'm not addicted to it. I've got a buncha other things going on, too. Its just that World of Warcraft is something I can tool around in for an unspecified time and always enjoy, especially when I'm with my friends. Speaking of which, if any of you guys wanna get on Runetotem and quest with me, feel free. It's not exactly lonesome, but the more the merrier, right?

Currently, Tareisa, my Night Elf Hunter (Huntress?) is just a few exp shy of level 20, at which point, I should be able to dual weild daggers, which will be fun. ^_^ It's still another 20 beyond that until I can use a mount, at which point I shall be unstoppable... Maybe. Anyway, I'm winding down the quests in Auberdine, about to head on into Asheton or something like that (I hate the random names x_x), and my next step into a larger world.

The big news for this past week, though, isn't about WOW. I got some new tech on my hands, literally. A Nintendo DS, to be exact. I probably went a bit overboard, and got 4 games to go with it, too. Kirby: Canvas Curse, Mario Kart DS, Advance Wars DS, and Animal Crossing: Wild World. Speaking of which, if you're looking for a town to visit, just send me your friend code. My house is Wi-Fi ready, so yay for that. ^_^ Mario Kart is more of the same classic goodness that is Mario Kart. I never got into the double dash stuff. Two drivers is just too complicated for me. I haven't done much in Advance Wars aside from a cursory glance at the multiplayer (why oh why isn't it online?), but I enjoyed the GBA iterations of the series. However, the current star of my DS collection has to be Kirby. It's great.

me: hes like
me: a little ball
me: that you poke with a rainbow
me: whats not to love?
Mel: that was the best description of anything ever

That's really the whole game. There were times where it almost felt like I was playing Sonic again, only with more whimsy. I'm talking Sonic as in the old-school Genesis and Game Gear Sonic, not the new 3D one... bleh.

I also picked up GTA: San Andreas. I'm not planning on playing it any time soon, but Target had it on sale for that week only ($15), so I hadda get it while the getting was good. (This is the same reason why I now own Spiderman 2 on DVD; it was $10.) Like I said, I don't plan on playing it now. I've got a lot on my gaming plate. Aside from World of Warcraft, I've still got to beat Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories before the 28th. At least, I've gotta beat Sora's story. I'll do the reverse/rebirth another time, maybe. *Sigh.* Can anyone help me make a deck that'll beat the last Riku battle? Or maybe just a killer deck that'll kill everyone in the rest of the game? Does anyone else even play the game? ^_^?

Also, I've been getting back into Pokemon, sorta. I haven't played the games since around Christmas time (I still can't beat the electric trainer in Emerald! x_x), but I've still been drawn by the allure of the franchise. Target sells a Game Cube Pokemon XD Bundle. That's the newest game in the series, for those of you paying attention. And the whole package is just $100. I swear, I'll clean up my room soon enough, and buy a TV, Slim PS2, and one of those G'cubes to put in it, and then I'll be able to sit here and never have to leave for anything, EVER! o_o... Course, it'll cost about $500, but it'll be worth it.

As if buying a Game Cube for the Pokemon games wasn't enough, I've got another level of the odd obsession. Despite having vastly inferior Pokemon, I wanna go to one of the local (as local as Dallas and Houstin are, anyway) Pokemon tour dates next month. I'll have to double check the days, but the chance to get a Celebi on one of my carts is too much to pass up. *Drool.* I've never been to one of these gatherings intentionally. The closest was when I randomly showed up at the mall with my family to find that the place was full of Poke-fans, and me without my Game Boy. This time, though, I'll be prepared. Hyah! o_o

Okay, I think that's about as far as I can go on that route... I'm looking forward to next month also because it means that there will be a different preview DVD at work. Hopefully, it'll be less annoying. *Prays for an English KH-2 preview...*

Video: VP Firearms Mishap Analyst

"He shot that dude!"

I'm sure you've all heard about how Cheney shot a friend in the face. If not, well... That's basically the whole story there. He was hunting quail, and missed, spraying his 78-year-old friend with shotgun pellets. I'm glad this video exists, for it is good. I really have nothing to add.

At some point, maybe tomorrow or so, I'll put up a post about the little things that drive me mad. I need to get a picture of that crazy Bratz laptop with the word "ADVERB!" in the screen on the box. It's deliciously inappropriate, I feel.

Also, I must kill the breezies. Later though. Good night.


EDIT: found a good one. ADVERB!

More Stuff, Actually

"We will find a cure for 'shot-in-head'". I love the Colbert Report. Anyway, I wanted to also share this clip, similar to the "Brokeback to the Future" I linked earlier.

Also, I wanted to say something about the Attorney General's little spat with the legislature. Not sure what I wanted to say. I've gotta stop writing these things while I'm sick. x_x

Actually, nah, they're more fun when they make no sense. Earlier today I randomly made the word Intelligision, out of the illness-induced combination of "Important" and "Television." This may sound stupid to you, but at the time I found it pretty hilarious.

Okay, head hurts. Gonna go now. Bye.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

So, I was installing World of Warcraft on the family PC, hoping it would run better with the better computer. It's still installing. so, I'll let you know how that turns out.

Oh wow, I'm watching Harrison Ford on the Daily Show. He's awesome. He's really hilarous, it's awesome. Seriously, I want to be his friend now. I mean, I'll just be a drooling fanboy, I'm sure, but still... Anyway, he was talking to Jon about his new movie, and Jon talks about how he did all his own stunts.

"Well I had to. They gave me so much money. It would have just been rude...

That cracked me up.

Now, for the REAL reason I'm posting this: KINGDOM HEARTS TWO RELEASES MARCH TWENTY-EIGHTH. Perhaps you didn't hear that. Lemme try again.

KINGDOM HEARTS TWO RELEASES MARCH TWENTY-EIGHTH!!

It'll be awesome, I'm sure. I'm gonna spin in circles around spazzing out about it. I've already told Jackie about my Kingdom Hearts 2 sound. It's something like... GHABLOGASHBOL!

Okay, that didn't come up well. But yeah, I'll see you guys later.

Brokeback... to the Future.

Random Link of the [insert time period here]. This thing is really well done, and goes on to prove my theory about what happens when you change a soundtrack.

John Doe 101

Since I don't play GTA that much anymore, I lent Jackie my copies of the games. I just had an interesting conversation where I told her how to get some health back. Here's the gist of it: Pick up a hooker.

Here's what you do. Get in a car, and make sure you've got some cash. Head to the South East corner of the island (this is Vice City, btw), and stop next to the sidewalk. Eventually, a good looking young woman will walk up, and say something in the language of the Sims, and get in the car. drive her to a secluded spot (I usually went to a dune on the beach). The car will start to shake, your money will go down, and your health will go up. I'm not gonna say what exactly is supposed to be going on, but I guess that the hooker doesn't do rough stuff. *Shrugs.*

So, now you're healthy, and out a chunck of change. What next? Well, wait for the hooker to get out, then pull a U-turn to run the bitch over. Take her money, and you'll end up with more than you started out with. Yay capitolism!

In other news, I don't have work tomorrow until 4, and by morning (or sooner), I should have all the RVB videos availiable to mankind. w00t!

WOW!

I just finished watching the Colbert Report from last night, thanks to TiVo. He signed off by telling me

"...and if you're watching this on TiVo and you fast forwarded through the commercials, you just stole money from our advertisers. Go back and re-watch them. You'll sleep better."

That's where TiVo stopped recording. It was so freaky I burst out laughing right there. This was also the episode where he interviewed the Congressman from the 8th district of New York. In reguards to who he would want to look over his email conversations, he said:

"It'd be okay if it were my wife or my girlfriend... Well, uh, I don't have a girlfriend, but."

Can you say Freudian Slip? I'm sure his wife had some questions for HIM last night. Hehe.

I went to the mall tonight. Didn't do much, met some nice people though, and that was fun. And then, as I was leaving, the theme to Back to the Future came up. If you haven't heard it, here's a link. Anyway, I was all excited, cuz it's nice driving music. It's all like... whee!!! I dunno, but yeah, it makes you feel like you're going the 88 miles per hour and flying and everything. I have this thing about how my music ends up functioning like a soundtrack for my life. Like that old Starburst commercial... You ever get the feeling that sometimes, everything just comes together? Well yeah, I start the car to the music, and things are just synching up. It's going great. Each gear shift (cuz I'm driving stick) goes along with it's musical cue. and when I get to the stop light, the music turns really soft. Then things took a turn for the worse. The music went up again, but the light was still red, so I just had to sit there, wishing I was moving, but I wasn't. It was kinda akward. By the time I got moving again, Mariah Carey was singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You."

Well lessee... I got another day off tomorrow. It's the Guildpact Release event at Pat's, so we'll see how that turns out. Also, I got WoW installed. Let's see how it goes, too. ^_^

Random Quizzle

I found a random quizzle from Oni Momo's LJ, and I hadda fill it in for myself. Plus, I'm in a silly mood. Let's see what happens.

True and False:

I am a cuddler. - True
I am a great dancer. - False
I am a morning person. - False, yet they make me...
I am a perfectionist. - Nah...
I am an only child. - False, two brothers.
I am Catholic. - False
I am currently in my PJs. - Sorta... I'm gonna take off my pants before I get into bed.
I am currently pregnant. - False
I am currently single. - False
I am currently suffering from a broken heart. - False
I am left handed. - Sorta; I'm ambidextrious.
I am married. - False
I am addicted to myspace. - False
I'm shy around the opposite sex. - True (but it's okay, I'm also shy around the same sex too, so....
I bite my nails. - True
I currently regret something I have done. - Lots, but not enough to be "currently regretting it.
When I get mad I curse. - True
I don't like anyone. - False
I enjoy country music. - False
I enjoy Jazz. - True; who wouldn't like that guy?
I have a car. - More than one, depending on how you look at it.
I have a cell phone. - True
I have a pet. - True
I have a tendency to fall for the wrong guy/girl. - If by "wrong" you mean "more than one"
I have at least one brother or sister. - True (what did I JUST tell you?)
I have been to another country. - True, but not enough of them.
I have been told that I'm smart. - True
I have been told that I have a sense of humor. - True
I have had a broken bone. - False
I have caller ID on my phone. - True for my cell phone, duh.
I have changed a lot over the past year. - Who hasn't?
I have had surgery. - True; twice, even!
I have killed another person. - False... VERY false
I have had my hair cut within the last week. - False... just barely though.
I have had the cops called on me. - Maybe, not sure. I hope not!
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't. - True
I have mood swings. - False
I have rejected someone before. - True
I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy. - True
I have watched Sex and the City. - False
I like Shakesphere. - False
I love to cook. - False
I love Michael Jackson. - False
I love sleeping. - True
I love to shop. - Yeah, it runs in the family.
I miss someone right now. - True.
I own over 100 cds. - Not CD's, but I DO have over 10,000 songs on my hard disk.
I own over 100 dvds. - I'm not sure... prolly not, unless you combined my family together, and counted 2 disk sets as two seperate disks.
I own & use a library card. - Not any more.
I practice a religon that is not considered mainstream. - I suppose so. That or I'm making it up as I go along.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time. - I try too...
I sleep a lot during the day. - Not now that I have a job... ._.
I strongly dislike math. - False
I think Britney Spears is pretty. - True, but that won't make up for her other flaws.
I was born in a country other than the US. - False
I watch Soap Operas on a regular basis. - False
I will try almost anyting once. - False... I'm such a prude / goody-two-shoes.
I work at a job that I enjoy. - Yeah! I get to work with the video games at Target! Score!
I would classify myself as ghetto. - False... many things I own are "Ghetto-rigged" to work, though, like my laptop.
I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White? - True: Dopey, Sneezy. Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Bashful and Doc. Great Scott!!
I am currently wearing socks. - False
I am tired. - False

__Stuff__

First best friend: Kathy Blau... (Technically my first girlfriend too... sorta x_x)
First Award: Meh, something from Kindergarten?
First Sport: Soccor! Our team got 2nd Place, because I did nothing at all! YAY!!!
First pet: Kittens. My personal first pet (as in, not the family's): Houdini the Iguana.
First Real Vacation: Oh, well I've been visiting my grandparents in Amarillo (from NJ) since I was like 3 years old, and I think my mom was in Hawaii while I was in her tummy. ^_^
First Concert: MC CHRIS AT EMO'S! RAWK!
First Love: Still working on that...


___ Favorites___

Movie: Oh, there's lots, but if I hadda pick one, 'The Matrix'. Not the sequels though. They were shi'ite.
TV Show: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
Color: Silver
Rapper: MC Chris, again... I'm not a big rap fan.
Band: Varied... I don't like listening to the same group twice in a row if I can avoid it.
Song Right Now: 'Passion', the opening theme to Kingdom Hearts 2. I'm such a nerd.
Friend: I don't pick favorites like that. Shame on you if you do.
Candy: Meh... Milky Way bars I guess.
Sport to Play: babysitting; It's a full time work out!
Restuarant: ARBY'S!
Favorite brand : Brand of what? Toilet paper? Tissues? Mouthwash? I'm gonna say Target as a shameless plug.
Store: <---- School Subject: Computer Science Animal: Bats. Dunno why, they're just cool. Also dinosaurs. Book: I don't read enough... 'God's Debris' was good though Magazine: Umm... Scrye, I guess. That or Wired. Shoes: Sandals year round. o_o ___Currently___ Feeling: Silly Single or Taken?: Taken Have a crush: Not especially Eating: Mexican food tonight! Drinking: I need water. Thanks for reminding me. Online?: Glub. Listening To: "Liu Vs. Reptile" from the Mortal Kombat Soundtrack Thinking About: Very little aside from making this quiz entertaining. Wanting To: Get Paid Watching: Flashing lights on a couple of monitors. Wearing: An MC Chris t-shirt, oddly enough. ___Your Future___ Want Kids?: Many Want to be Married?: Eventually. Careers in Mind: Video Game Designer Where do you want to live: Anywhere with Broadband Internet. Car: Toyota Celica.









___Have you ever______

Kissed a Stranger: No
Had Alcohol: Once or twice, not much though.
Smoked: No, it'll kill me!
Broken a bone: Didn't you already ask this?
Got an X-ray: Many times. MRI's too.
Been with someone: Uh huh...
Broken Someones Heart: Too many times. u_u
Broke Up With Someone: Same as above.
Cried When Someone Died: My kitty, actuallly
Cried At School: In kindergarten, when the substitute didn't let us finish "Sesame Street: Don't Eat The Pictures". I still don't know how it ended. u_u

___Do You Believe In___

God: In one form or another
Love At First sight: Maybe, but not for me.
Ghosts: Not per se...
Aliens: Those durned Mexicans... ET life though, sure, it's out there. Whether it's come here or not, I'm not so sure of.
Soul Mates: Maybe. That's something of a overly dramatic way of putting it, but I'm sure there's someone there for everyone.
Heaven: I believe you choose your own afterlife, be it heaven, hell, limbo, or nothingness.
Hell: (See above)
Angels: It's an oversimplification and a personification of something real, but beyond comprehension for most people.
Kissing on The First Date: And maybe more...
Horoscopes: Nope.

Okay. And I spiced it up with pictures too! I was just planning on the Jazz one, but the rest sorta called out and asked to be posted too. They should be clickable to find a larger image, if you want. ^_^

Edit: the placement of the pictures is kinda wonky. I'll fix it after dinner.