How Did This Happen?

I signed into my Zune.net page the other day, and this is what I found:

Seriously. WTF?

I know, I know, it's bad enough Miley Cyrus is on my Zune profile to begin with. (By the way, welcome back to my blog. I know you missed it.) But 2.7k plays? More than double that of her nearest competitor. What the hell, Zune shuffle?

For the record, artists number 2 and 3 are the soundtrack authors for the new Transformers and Kingdom Hearts, respectively. The way THEY got so high is because I would tell my Zune to play every song by the artist on shuffle, then tell my radio to shut off after 90 minutes. So a lot of those plays I didn't listen to. I was assuming the same was true for Miley's phenomenal rise in popularity.

I guess I should explain why Miley Cyrus is on my Zune at all. You see, I'm weird. I like happy, poppy, stupid music. I realize as I'm listening to it that it's stupid, but it's still fun. Just like Mortal Kombat will always be one of my favorite movies, despite it being remarkably bad as films go. (MK: Annihilation is another story... :\) Couple this with my job at Target as the Electronics specialist. I stand at a crossroads of childrens multi-media marketing, and Hannah Montana often comes to the forefront there-of. Within 100 feet of where I usually work, I can find you Hannah Montana CD's, Hannah Montana DVD's, a couple Hannah Montana Blu-Ray Discs, a few Hannah Montana video games, Hannah Montana toys, and, depending on the season, Hannah Montana Halloween costumes, Easter decorations, Valentines cards, or Christmas Ornaments. Oh, and there's also a large bank of TVs that blare out her latest single occasionally.

So, I had to make a decision: either I hate Miley Cyrus, and go crazy in a world that continues to reward her sub-par musical talents; or I accept her as the newest greatest starlet in the world, and love her unconditionally like a tween loves glittery vampires. And so I chose the middle path. I accept that she has some talent, and is portraying a totally ridiculous premise, and also I'm a little crazy anyway.

Yes, I have nearly all of Hannah Montana's discography, if only because I have a Zune Pass. It's FREE, and its infectious. So I would put that on to go to sleep to on a few nights. It's silly, and that's exactly why I love it. Because the idea of a pop-star with a secret identity is about the most ridiculous concept I've seen from Disney since I first realized Mickey's nemesis Pete was, in fact, a cat. (They don't really advertise that fact, so it hit me somewhat late. See: Kingdom Hearts.)

That was my assumption, anyway. I did the math. At 2775 total plays, and with a total song count of 75, that means I played each of her songs around 37 times. I am flabbergast. I swear I didn't. I promise. Maybe MAYYYYBE ten times.

Curse you, Smart DJ. You've turned my love of Natasha Bedingfield against me.

So ya, this thing is back. Yay for random strings of text. Speaking of which, this thing, too. I'm gonna put all my fiction writing there, and leave this one for my daily observations of weird, but non-fictional, events (I swear I couldn't make up 2775 Miley Cyrus plays if I tried.) So if you're into that, enjoy it. And if not, um....

Don't?

P.S. I went back into Zune and merged the songs listed under "Hannah Montana" into "Miley Cyrus", bringing the total up to 88. If you're keeping track.

P.P.S. This doesn't mean I've forgiven "Ache-y Break-y Heart". Oh no. Not by a long shot. >: (