Misetings article

Found some old stuff, wanted to post it for posterity.

The following is based on actual events;
Only the names, places, and events have been changed.

"DCI Bans 'Scissors'"
by Squirrelmonger (me)- January 06, 2003

Renton, WA -- Citing the results of a recent 'Rock, Papers, Scissors' tournament, the DCI has banned the use of Scissors from all forms of sanctioned play.
 
Jeff Williams, a spokesman for the DCI, explained, "The statistics don't lie. Over 30% of last weekends matches were won by players running Scissors. It's obviously too powerful for competitive play. It is a direct foil to any sort of Paper strategy, and that's simply not the kind of environment we want to encourage."
 
In a recent poll done by the DCI, Scissors was the number one picked symbol used by players. Rock, the only dependable way to beat Scissors, was a close second, but Williams believes "this is a backlash and only helps further drive home Scissors dominance of the game."
 
Since it was first revealed in 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' first release, Scissors has been one of the most dominant strategies in the game. Many players have feared the "two-pronged menace". Now, however, Williams hopes to allow Paper players to step out of Scissors' shadow and finally flourish on their own.
 
"This is a great time to be a Paper player. 'Flat-handers' finally have a chance to show their worth."
 
Many Rock players have worried that this change may also adversly affect their play as well, but Williams remains confidant. "Remember, this is a changing game. We may make a mistake from time to time, but we're always working for what's best for the game."