But that's neither here nor there. I saw something on the Colbert Report tonight that got me thinking about hostages. How would I react if I was ever taken prisoner. If someone held a gun to my face, my initial responce is something along the lines of "I'm prepared to die. Are you prepared to kill?" Philosophical shit like that, see if I can stir them up. Even if I don't say it out loud, out of the fear that maybe he IS prepared to kill, I'll be thinking it. Don't get me wrong, I don't WANT to die. I'd honestly rather not. But if that's where I'm headed, and there's nothing I can do, I'm cool with it.
Really, I think I'd enjoy being a prisoner. I mean, not like, "sign me up, I'm ready." But like, if I was a prisoner, I'd make the most of it. I'd see what I could get read. I'd talk to the guards and get on their good sides. I'm a very likable person, and I believe that everyone at their core wants to be liked, too. It comes with being a social creature. So if I just get the other person to not think of me as their enemy, but as a real person, my times will go a lot smoother. Chatting up the guards MAY be difficult, though. They tend to do stuff like pistol whip you when you talk while marching and stuff. Maybe I'd hum or something. And, say, if I got too chmmy with the guards, I'd get stuck with the guy who didn't speak English, to keep me from being treated nicely. I have ways around that, too, though.
I have this image of me in a dirty cell in Iraq or whatever (possibly the Democratic People's Republican Kingdom of Carbomia), with the guard outside being gruff and silent. The conversation goes something like this:
Me: Hey, you must be new here. I'm Greg. Nice to meet you. What's your name?So yeah, at that point, I've got a movie buddy, and even though we don't speak English, I'm pretty definitely on his good side. Yay diplomacy.
Him: (A single word barked as an order in whatever his native language is. Probably something like "Quiet!" I'll know that one by this point. More than likely, he'll just harumph to himself and keep quiet, cuz his superiors warned him about me.)
Me: Not much on names, eh? That's okay, I'll just call you Rob for the time being. It's been a while since I talked to a Rob. That sound okay?
Him: (Same as before: stoic)
Me: So Rob, whatcha do for fun? You play any sports? Soc- er, football? Follow the World Cup maybe? ... Read any good books? Seen any movies?
Him: (The silence continues.)
Me: Hey, did you guys get Pirates of the Carribian over here? Swashbuckling pirates? Sounds like you're kinda stuff... And that Kiera Knightly is some hot stuff, eh?
(At this point I am just talking to keep myself amused, not even thinking he was listening, and thus the next line surprises me...)
Him: Ki-Kiera Nituhly?
Me: Ah, you've heard of her, I take it. Nice looking lady, eh? (I elaborate with a stereotypical "hourglass figure" motion of the hands.)
Him: (Gibberish, cuz I'm no linguist, but I get the general idea of "Yeah".)
Me: Yeah, that's another thing I haven't seen in a while. Been away from home too long. Speaking of which, who do you local boys have your eyes on?
Him: (Confusion, he still doesn't speak English)
Me: (Motioning to myself) America... Kiera Knightly. (Motioning towards him) Carbomia...?
Him: (Catching the drift, he fills in the name of whatever local star he fancies.
Me: (Attempt to say the name, the way he tried out Kiera's.) Nope, can't say I've heard of her. She been in any movies? (Hitting another language barrier, I make another simile - Kiera Knightly is to Pirates of the Caribbean as the Carbomian chick is to... After he fills in the blank, I continue.) I've never seen that. Do you think you could get me a TV to watch it? (More exaggerated miming, this time pointing to my eyes and slowly saying "WATCH")
And now, cuz I feel like it, a random picture for you all.
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