I Bring Tidings From... THE FUTURE!!!

I had a freaky dream last night. Or this morning, considering I was still having it right up until I woke up. My Grandma used to say that a dream would come true unless you ate something before you told someone about it, but I'm betting none of you will read this before I eat, so I'm in the clear.

In the dream, I wake up and head out to some bleachers. I never really figured out why we were at the bleachers, but that doesn't seem to matter. I found my two brothers sitting in them, with a space between them that I would have assumed was saved for me filled instead by one of two giggling young girls, the other sitting on my brother's other side. The four of them seemed to be having a good time, and are sorta surprised to see me. They don't really get a chance to tell me why at first, as I get up and get a spot in the row behind them.

It's about here that they tell me that this isn't the year 2006 any more. We're in the future now. They're probably gonna tell me more, but all of a sudden, the crowd starts ducking under the bleachers. Or rather, lying down on the lower steps, like they're hiding. Not really knowing what's going on, I try to follow suit, but I'm clumsy and end up sprawled out all over the place. Not that it really matters, I don't think they were really hiding. It's more like an "ASSUME THE POSITION" kind of drill, so the cops (I forgot the technical name for them, but they were cops basically) could do their survey of the population. It's at this point I notice that the bleachers are full of people, and circle around for quite a ways, so there's at least a small town's worth on them.

These cyber-cops-of-the-future seem to enjoy taunting people, which is really easy when the rules are as strict as they now appear to be. I see one fat man pulled out of the bleachers a ways down, apparently for the crime of eating fried chicken during the inspection, or eating fried chicken while overweight in general. His fate wasn't learned, but it probably wasn't TOO bad (I hope). Next one headed over for me. He looks down at a pizza box, closed. Part of their box presentation is to have little toothpicks featuring toppings on top. The cop getures to the speared chicken and, addressing a portly man a row or two above me, starts the following conversation: "So, having a little chicken on your pizza, eh tubby?"

"No! No, I swear! It's just cheese! Look!" He reaches up and flips open the box to show that yes, it is a cheese pizza. There's not even holes where the chicken toppings could have been removed, just a perfectly normal cheese pizza.

"Hrmph... Well, okay, mister, but you'd better watch it."

It's at this point that I decide I'm confused enough, but at the same time, I feel like causing some trouble. I really don't know what got into me, but even with my brothers tugging at my shirt to get me to stop, I ask the cop: "Hey, I'm a little fuzzy on the rules, being from 100 years in the past." I wasn't really sure it was 100 years ago, but I decided to go with it. "Can a skinny guy like me eat the chicken, or-"

I get cut off by a surprised look from the cop. Another couple of cops appears, and they're all asking the same questions. "Did he say he's from the past? He doesn't know the rules? Take him to the re-education center!" Before I knew it, I was being hauled off, with my brothers all the while pleading for me to be released.

Eventually we came to a place that did indeed look a lot more science fiction-y. I was lead to what looked like an enclosed habitat, supposedly to be more like my own time. It had a TREE!!! In fact, when they opened the door, and a leaf flew out, it was a top priority that the leaf be returned to the habitat. The only way they had to do this, apparently, was to maek the entire floor bounce, in the hopes that the leaf would bounce back into the habitat. I mentioned repeatedly that if the tree just had a tail, it would be much easier to sweep in leaves like that. I think the next time I checked, there was indeed a tail.

I get shoved into the habitat, and it's already populated. I'm told by the administrator that I need to head to the computer terminal and log in my personal data. I feign innocence (still claiming to be from "100 years ago" even though I don't know what the current year really is), just to toy with them, and also to cover for the fact that I honestly have no idea how to use this computer. It looks like theres a muzzle over the monitor, or something.

Then my dream skips ahead a bit. I find myself looking around MagicTheGathering.com just to poke around. I was reading an article by Linda Rosewater about how the latest sest was just released for Magic Beta (cardboard) and will soon be ready for the full deal (online, obviously). So that was a bit disappointing. I end up talking with some of the other "inmates" and learn more about how the system works here. Most of the people are very friendly and forgiving, but the authorities are strict beyond words. It's almost like that one episode of Star Trek: TNG, where Wesley gets a death sentence for stepping on the grass, only not QUITE so harsh. Some things are stricter, like healthyness and morality (I'm not allowed to swear at all), but a lot of things, like sexuality and violence, have become more acceptable. Kinda fits in with how the world was going today.

To emphasize this point, the crowd in the room suddenly interrupted in a cheer over the sporting event we were watching. I watched the slow motion replay to see what the fuss was about, and saw it was apparently a normal pass, except that half way through the trajectory, the object being thrown (I couldn't make it out, but it seemed to be some sort of razor sharp boomerang or frisbee) sliced off a leg from woman standing in the middle of the field. That's right, sliced it off. Where all the other players were wearing protective gear, she had been wearing only a bikini bathing suit, to emphasize her stellar body. Apparently, that was part of the game, or at least part of the entertainment.

My dream skips ahead yet again, and I'm put in a supermarket type place. Someone asks me if I can tell them where the business cards are. I have to say sorry, I don't work here, and I get cut off by one of my friends from the habitat (though now I appear to have been released, I guess), who tells me that we ALL work at this place. Every citizen works for every company, or something like that. Communism to the extreme.

Sighs... The dream went on for a bit more. I get in trouble not for messing up a game by passing through the field (no razor-rangs, though), but for saying "Fuck you" to the goalie after doing so. I meet up with a young girl who's captivated by the fact that I still smell like the Axe I put on before traveling to the future, since no artificial smells exist in the future... Anyway, it's pretty deep.

Everything I've written here actually happened in my dream. I mighta messed a few details, or added in a bit of a clarification after the fact, but this was my dream, until I got fuzzy near the end. But the more I wrote this post out, the more it sounded like a decent science fiction story. I'm not sure about the plot yet, other than either "finding my place in a new society" or "leading a revolution against the oppresive administration", but I'll think of one. And you will get the most intense story of a dystopian future EVER!!!