No News Is Good News

I guess I'm on a writing kick tonight?

At work, we don't get cable. Our breakroom TV only gets over the air signals, so roughly 5 and a half channels. During the daytime, when most of my shifts are, those channels are dominated by Jerry Springer, Divorce Court, and some sort of all knowing paternal expert telling elated vagrants "You are NOT the father!" In short, shit. And even worse, soap operas. But there's one show that I can count on to sort of be at least somewhat helpful to my daily life. The local news, with its local weather and, occasionally, traffic reports.

I remember from my youth, the catch phrase "News You Can Use", a segment during some news (half)hour show. The implication being, I suppose, that the other 25 minutes of news is information that I can't use. So, why am I tuning in? Entertainment? I don't find tales of police drug busts or car accidents from hours ago very useful. Nor do I find the details of a social controversy over in Ohio or whatever very helpful in my day to day life. Studies have shown that, for instance, people who watch Fox News are more likely to be misinformed about the facts, so this moves the problem from a waste of my time (news I can't use) to an actual detriment to my being (news that hurts me).

There is a problem here.

So, why isn't news simply news I can use? Who decided that they needed to fill the other twenty-five minutes after the weather and traffic was done? Just run another program or something. That seems to be the most cost effective route. Granted, knowing these channels its likely to be a paid advertisement for the Spammerator, a knife that slices fake meat AND sends enticing letters penned by fictitious African Kings offering large sums, but at least it'll be, theoretically, something I COULD use, if I wanted. (This way, I'll have something to eat while I wait for help transferring my obscenely huge fortunes.)

Actually, there was one thing on the news today that was helpful. They talked about a recall on several toys. Working in the toy department of Target, I had already been made aware of the risk (by the way, if you or anyone you love has bought the Disney's Cars toys - the ones about the size of Hot Wheels - you should take them back, there's something wrong with them), but for anyone who didn't work for a toy store, this is important information. Old ladies turning 100, a beauty pageant for kittens, and a turtle who got flipped upside down until local neighbors flipped him back; these stories are certainly not news-worthy, and yet they make headlines on my local news.

So, then, back to the question: what, exactly, should be reported. Obviously, weather and traffic are important. The same goes for public service messages like the toy recall, or possible medical alerts (ISSUED BY PROPER AUTHORITIES - I don't need to hear about every sick kid with the sniffles and how it could be an outbreak of Possum/Opossum flu). Political issues and races directly affecting me classify somewhat as news, though not to the extent they are currently covered. I actually saw a piece about whether or not candidates' hair made them appear "gay". That is news I cannot use. I, for one, do not care what my president looks like, as long as he gets the job done and doesn't screw up too badly. I don't need to know every notch in the polls because of every little happening in every nook and cranny of the nation, especially not 14 months before the election. Give me state by state primary results, maybe. Highlight key notes said at each candidates speaking events, but don't over do it. I don't need a 24 hour news channel devoting 72 hours to a botched joke or a weird shirt.

I'm okay with opinions. Believe it or not, I'm fine with The O'Reilly Factor. I tend to lean a little more towards the Kieth Olberman side of the spectrum myself, but to each his own, and I'm sure there's a place out there for all opinions. In fact, opinions are probably more useful to me than facts. Interpretation, even wrong interpretation, can help to get the process moving along. True, it can also lead a bunch of dittoheads to vote off a cliff like lemmings, but that's simply how people will work.

I also think it's interesting to see how the internet will affect all this stuff. With the internet, there's a place I can go to get specialized news. For instance, most people wouldn't care about when the next Transformers toys are due out, but I am very interested in such things. Obviously, while this information is news to me (news I can use, at that!) it's not really relevant to 99% of the population.

Anyway, I need to sleep now. Laters.