Viva El Presidente

Family Security Matters:

President Bush can fail in his duty to himself, his country, and his God, by becoming “ex-president” Bush or he can become “President-for-Life” Bush: the conqueror of Iraq, who brings sense to the Congress and sanity to the Supreme Court. Then who would be able to stop Bush from emulating Augustus Caesar and becoming ruler of the world? For only an America united under one ruler has the power to save humanity from the threat of a new Dark Age wrought by terrorists armed with nuclear weapons.

Everyone else who thinks this is scary bullshit, please raise your hands.

\o/!

EDIT:

I decided a rebuttal was in order.

Mr Atkinson,

I noticed your article was taken down. Did you guys realize it wouldn't work, too?

Americans, as much as we enjoy not being blown up, have a much deeper love of freedom. Think of such classics as: "Give me Liberty or give me death," "They can take our lives, but they can never take our freedom," and "Those who would sacrifice essential liberty for temporary security deserve neither." I think that Henry and Franklin, and even Mr. Gibson, would be shocked at your proposal. It violates the very freedoms President Bush, and the military men and women at his command, swore an oath to protect.

While the Roman people, by way of their Senate, might have buckled to Caesar's personal army, Bush would have a much harder time controlling the American population with our volunteer-army. Convincing the troops who had just committed genocide in a harsh desert that they must now come home and police their friends and neighbors would be no easy task.

Also, you can't forget how the story of Julius Caesar ends. He is killed, not by an invading enemy, but his own countrymen. Much like those back-stabbing Romans, Americans will not stand for a dictator. If the United States becomes a police state, the terrorists they will have to fight will bear less in common with Osama bin-Laden and more with Timothy McVeigh. The Colorado Rockies, much like bin-Laden's Middle-Eastern series of caves, will be a constant thorn in Bush's side, a nagging pest that you can always feel but never quite find. Freedom-loving Americans would band together and fight back, as much as possible, in very much the same way that the Iraqis are doing now - They wouldn't have to defeat the military outright, just make the operation too costly to continue. Unless Bush decides to nuke the Rockies, but even that would create more disloyalty, more anger at our new dictator, etc....

So, did your article get removed because you decided it wasn't realistic after all? Or, and this is what I truly hope, did you realize what you wrote was an atrocity that shouldn't have been said at all.

By the way, don't think I'm trying to tell you that you shouldn't be allowed to write that Bush should pull a Caesar (or a Hitler, to flip the coin), but when you do write something so insulting to America as a whole, expect to be called on it.

-Greg L

Edit Number 2 - Electric Boogaloo: I just noticed what the post below this one was. I feel a little bit comforted by it.