Cinderella Is A Horrible, Horrible Movie.

For those of you who may not know, I occasionally have to baby sit my cousin Clara. I'm mildly ashamed that I usually end up just watching movies with her, instead of playing with her or reading a book for her. This morning was no different. When I got there, she was watching Winnie The Pooh's "A Very Merry Pooh Year," which is the holiday DVD thing for the 100 Acre Woods. It was mildly entertaining, but mostly just regular Disney silliness wrapped loosely around a moral.

When that was finished, I asked if she wanted to play outside. It was overcast though, so it was no surprise to me when she said, "No. Cinderelli." She's in love with the movie Cinderella. I tried to change her mind. First I pulled Shrek out of my pocket. She hadn't seen that one before and I wanted to try to expand her movie horizons, so to speak, but she was scared of the big green ogre on the cover. ._. Next I tried to trick her a little. Aladdin was sitting right on top of the Cinderella DVD, and since the boxes were the same color, I thought maybe she wouldn't notice it was a different movie until it was too late. (Muwahahaha.) Turns out she liked that one, anyway, which was good. I think Aladdin is a much better movie than the other Disney Princess movies (namely, Cinderella and Snow White). Those are BOORING.

Take the take of young Cinderella. She's got a rough life. Her mother dies when she was just a baby, and then her father dies later on, leaving her in the care of her wicked step-mother and step-sisters. And she takes it in stride, like a true trooper. She does all the chores while Anastasia and Pricilla reap all the rewards, and doesn't speak up. Even the cat, Lucifer, taunts the poor girl. (Who in their right mind names a kitten after Satan!?) She just takes it. Like a pussy. And then she gets invited to the ball. She's excited. She could meet the prince. IF she gets her chores done, plus some extra things thrown to make it harder for her, AND she can find an elegant dress to wear. She DOES manage to finish her chores, but its up to the mice to make her a pretty dress, which is promptly ripped by her step-sisters anyway. So what does she do? Does this girl shout and scream and tell them she's mad as hell, and she's not gonna take it any more? No. She just runs off and cries. Again, like a pussy. And guess what. Because she cries, because she gives up so totally and falls into the dispair, her fairy godmother appears to make it all right as rain. The squeaky wheel gets her grease, and then she can go to the ball and have her happily ever after. You all know the rest: She stays late, and loses her slipper in a mad dash to leave the palace on time. When the king's men arrive at her house to try the shoe on all the ladies, Cinderella ends up locked in her tower, and once again, the mice have to save her, so she can go have her happily ever after.

What a bunch of rubbish, am I right? She doesn't do anything in that movie, things just happen to her. The first half of it is almost like that one part in Spiderman 2 where they're trying to show you how pathetic Peter Parker's life is. And you just go, oh, give me a break, that's just REDICULOUSLY awful. Same thing here. Cept Cinderelli isn't swinging through the kingdom fighting crime. That would be cool. But no, this poor girl just drifts through life, and accepts whatever it gives her. When her father dies and she ends up doing chores, oh well, that's cool. Then she goes out crying, and THAT's when she gets the dress. She isn't rewarded for being a good girl and being nice to everyone who was mean to her. She's rewarded for giving up and sobbing. And That's Terrible.

Look at Snow White, too. (I've done too much thinking about this.) She goes off to pick flowers and finds out that her step-mother tried to kill her off. (BTW, did Walt Disney have some issues with step-mothers? Did his dad marry a real bitch or something?) She goes off and hides with the Dwarves, and then is stupid enough to eat the apple. But really, she doesn't do anything. Things happen to her, and she just runs away, or falls unconcious. Lame.

Now, here's how I would have done it, knowing what I do of feudal societies (my mommy helped me! :) Snow White is the princess, and the true blood heir to the throne. Her assassination was an attempt by the Evil Queen to get the power for herself. So Snow White goes into hiding, but not in a cabin in the woods. She seeks the protection of a nearby nobel, probably the father of the prince she sees earlier on. The nobelman has 7 knights (the 7 dwarves, and yes, they're still silly and probably short), who will aid Snow White in overthrowing her Stepmother. There's amazing action and adventure, and at the end of it all, the step-mother, instead of turning into an old hag, turns into a ferocious beast which must be slain. Now, Malificent turned into a dragon in Sleeping Beauty, so that SHOULD be out, but who knows? I'll get more done on that later. Looks interesting.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, I applied for a job at Target. The managers are gonna interview me later today, it looks, and I'm gonna start working ASAP. ^_^ YAY EMPLOYMENT!!! I'm also looking into an internship with a gaming company, but that may take a back seat to actual employment. Wish me luck peoples!