iRaq The Vote

So I was watching the Daily Show tonight, as I try to often, along with the Colbert Report. Which reminds me, I found this video discussing the Taint in DC., but I can't get it to load right now. Maybe you'll have better luck?

But my main point is this: When Jon has a guest on who's conservative and seems to be an "insider," he always asks the question, "Who are we invading next?" It gets a good laugh, and it's funny. But I think it's time to ask the outsiders the same question. Who should we invade next? Now, since you are, as I said, Washington outsiders (except for my friends from the Seattle Area), I'll make it multiple choice, as well as some explaination of the options.

Iran, Syria, and North Korea - They are the current favorites in the war on terror targets. Booooring. Let someone else talk about them.

Afghanistan - 'But wait,' you're saying. 'Didn't we just leave there?' That's the beauty of it. They'd never see it coming. Just when they thought we were gone we come back for more. There's still a lot to be done in the region. This is like RISK. We can't pull out of a country there. Look where it is: just North of the Middle East Proper, and a gateway into Europe from Asia. It's got borders with China and Russia, who have always been suspect as well...

South Korea - First off, it puts us in striking distance of North Korea, which could come in quite hand, but also, well... The South Koreans continue to show up America in the field of RTS video games. They wanna see who's best at war games? Let's show them. "SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?"

Canada - Look at that. Just sitting up there smugly. Yeah, it's a little cold, but they've got all the good swag. Free national healthcare, mounties, Alaska. Heck, the age of consent up there is only 14. That's gotta be worth something. I say America takes it. By force.

Hawaii - They've grown distant and aloof. We need to remind them who's Papa Fed around here.

Transylvania - I saw both Underworld movies this weekend. They were good, but it only served to drive home an important point: Vampires are dangerous. Werewolves too, but I'm not sure where they come from. Besides, if these movies are any indication, sooner or later they're gonna start mating, and we don't wanna be around for that. Well, unless it's mating with this girl. That would be alright, I guess.

Chuck Norris - In case you hadn't heard about all of Chuck's amazing feats, you should educate yourself. Now. Before it's too late! "Chuck Norris is his own father." "In a fight between Batman and Superman, the winner would be Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris does not have to mow his lawn. He simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow." With facts like these, he is growing to be a grave threat to the world. Watch this film if you still doubt his power. True, he's not really a nation, but he still needs invading.

So there you have it. Go forth and vote (Probably by leaving a comment to this post, if you please.)

Also, here's a video of the Apple Computers "1984 Ad". I need to go read that book now.