Who Wants To Marry An American Idol?

I know, I know, you want to hear about how awesome Beijing is (and it is pretty awesome, at least some of the time), but tonight, something far more important has arisen.

...Holy Crap, I just checked CNN.com looking for a link, and I saw this. Please note, this is NOT my original intent, but this could spell trouble for me and my vacation. (!.!) My new background, which this thing won't let me show you, is very amazing, and fits my reaction perfectly. Ask me about it some time, won't you?

But back to my original story: Barbie and Ken have broken up. This should be old news, but anyway, the new question is, who's next for Barbie. The question was posed by my cousin, who promptly shot down many of my suggestions. I thought they were good, though, so I'll tell you, after I finish the set up. Back in America, Lena, my cousin, saw the commercials for the new Fox reality show, where a girl tries to pick from 10 guys, 5 straight, 5 gay(my cousin is to young to understand this; she just saw them as being poor picks), for her soul mate. If she picks a straight guy, they split the $100,000 prize. If she picks a gay one, he wins it all for himself. Anyway, Lena suggested this format for the dating selection of Barbie's new boy from my long list of fictional characters. This time, instead of using Gay choices to fool her, a few characters are thrown in who already have girls for them. (Actually, that rarely came up, but when it did, that was how we explained it.)

Here are your candidates, in no particular order.

G.I. Joe - A Real American hero, Joe is a classic match for Barbie after her break up. He just seemed like the next in line. Problem is, he's almost TOO cliche. Plus, with the recent war in the Middle East or wherever, Joes gonna be going a lot more, and coming a lot less. So this may not be the best time for him to get in a relationship.

Michelangelo - The Orange Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Of all the Ninja Turtles, Michelangelo seems to be the one who's most likely to end up with the blonde bombshell. All of the anamorphic ninjitsu were dismissed by Lena as just being flat out wrong, but I'll counter that with my end all statement, "Ninjas can do ANYTHING.

Optimus Prime - The Autobot Leader. If there's one thing a girl likes more than a guy with a cool car, its a guy who IS a cool car. Plus, he's gentle, caring, and kind, a perfect gentleman, er, gentlebot. And he will kick ass if you're in trouble, a good trait in any boyfriend.

Bumblebee - The Autobot, um... Volkswagen. Okay, I cheated and did two Transformers. But still,you gotta admit, he's a lot cuter than Prime. The friendliest Autobot by far, he also has the added bonus of being a VW Beetle, a car Barbie has been known to drive. AND HE'S CUUUTE!!!

Batman - Billionaire Super Hero. He's rich and amazingly suave as Bruce Wayne, and then he's the ultimate fighter at night. And again, going along the car theme, he's got a fast one. A little dark for Barbie, but still. And Barbie's been a superhero, so she can keep his secret, and maybe help a little in the insanity department as "psychiatrist Barbie."

James Bond - The Sean Connery One. None of the others work, really. But Bond, James Bond is every bit as suave as Bruce Wayne, even while he's actioning it up. His car is almost as cool as Batman's, not as fast, and not the same bells and whistles, though it does have the same amount or more of weapons. And it looks better, for Barbie's purposes.

Luigi Mario - Italian Plumber in the Mushroom Kingdom. The problem with both Bond and Wayne is that they are not know for keeping girls for long term relationships. And they ARE somewhat secretive, not much to tell Barbie when they get home. No, what she needs is someone like Luigi. He's got a steady job of plumbing (I think he works for the Mushroom Kingdom as they're personal Green Pipes repairman and Turtle Remover). He has super powers (only when he eats a Magic Mushroom - Drug Therapy Dr. Barbie, anyone?) And though his brother always gets the girl, he still trucks along; he's determined! I think it's high time he got a girl.

And some other random ones for you to consider:

Bob The Builder: This suggestion was by PJ, and made me laugh out loud.
Pikachu: More as a pet, but still.
The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: Ummm... Maybe not.
Link: I'm pretty sure he's not really with Zelda, she just tells him stuff to do.
Ben: Rhymes with Ken.... I don't know who Ben is, but it means that Barbie will only have to change one letter.
Anakin Skywalker: He's taken by Padme`, but he's still a Jedi, and that's worth points.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: The Episode II version, not the old/dead one from the classic trilogy, more Jedi, less female attachments.
Piro: After all he's been through, he DESERVES Barbie. And look at him, he's practically beating them off with a stick.
Largo: Wait, no, that's not good.
Han Solo: Everyone loves a scoundrel. (Including his wife, Leia... D'oh!)
Indiana Jones: On a par with Bond, Wayne, and Solo, but he has a track record of KEEPING the ladies throughout out a whole movie.

Okay, there are your many candidates. I'll leave the voting up to you. Write in candidates are allowed, and guess what, I'll even add them to the blog, with YOUR NAME! Wheee....

Holy shit, that last bit took a harsh turn towards giddy, so I'd better get to sleep. G'night, and good voting.