Late Breaking News

Washington, D.C. - The public was stunned today when President Bush unveiled his Orbital Command Station, dubbed by many to be his own personal Death Star.

Bush unveiled the until recently secret station with a grandeous speech. "American power in the world has been questioned too much by too many parties, both domestic and abroad. With the Orbital Command Station in orbit overhead, the world will know that America can and will defend her interests, through force if neccessary."

"The OCS," explained a white house, "is the most advanced space station ever constructed by mankind." The station will be able to house over 100 people, and have a formitable defencive capabilities. "From orbit, we will have striking capabilities covering the entire Western Hemisphere, and command over U.S. Military Stations throughout the world."

The station has a supply of 48 tactical nuclear missiles, as well two hundred anti-air turrets, specially modified for use in the vacuum of space. However, the most impressive weapon on the station is its superlaser. Unlike the Death Star from Star Wars, this station's weapon lacks the power to destroy an entire planet, though it can devastate an entire city in a single blast.

"Also," added the spokeman, "I would like to stress firmly that this station, unlike those in the movies, has no easily navigated trenches or tunnels leading to a single undefended weak spot. SO STOP LOOKING!"

In his speech, Bush revealed that the station, which was originally meant to be unveiled in the year 2013. "However, in light of recent tragedys and the current international situation, I've asked for our engineers to redouble their efforts."

The station was unveiled this morning in an announcment that shocked the Global Community. Though no foreign powers have come forward and formally spoken out against the OCS, underground rumblings point towards a large amount of mistrust and fear towards this new step in US foreign policy.

Tomorrow morning the first shuttles will leave for the station, filling it with chief executive branch members. Dick Cheney was sent aboard months back, and it is rumored to have served as his "undisclosed location" during previous years. Bush mentioned that starting tomorrow, the OCD would be replacing the White House as the Executive Branches "Seat of Power," as he called it, and is being placed in geosynchranous orbit over Washington D.C.

In other news, several Republican Congressmen, in addition to several of the more conservative Supreme Court Justices, were found making hasty travel plans. Many Democrats suspect a trap, but unfortunately, their party lacks sufficient leadership to form any responce.

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I don't know, I just felt like writing that out.