|| Fantastic Four - July 1, 2005 || - Large

When an experimental space voyage goes awry, four people are changed by cosmic rays. Reed Richards, inventor and leader of the group gains the ability to stretch his body, and takes the name, Mr. Fantastic. His girlfriend, Sue Storm, gains the ability to turn invisible and create force fields, calling herself the Invisible Woman. Her younger brother Johnny Storm gains the ability to control fire, including covering his own body with flame, becoming the Human Torch. Pilot Ben Grimm is turned into a super-strong rock creature calling himself Thing. Together, they use their unique powers to explore the strange aspects of the world, and to foil the evil plans of Doctor Doom.

Or something like that. Cosmic rays and gamma radiation. When will people learn to stop messing with the non-visible specturms of light? When has Gamma Radiation EVER helped anyone? I can't believe there was a line in the Hulk movie (or at least, in the trailers; I never saw the film) where a SCIENTIST, supposedly the smartest character in the film, says, "Okay, let's pour on the Gamma radiation." That has got to be the funniest thing I've ever heard a scientist say in a non-comedy movie.

I'm also pissed that the only chick in the main cast, the hottie Jessica Alba, has the super-power of INVISIBLITY! How the hell am I supposed to tap that ass when I can't see it!? You know why I think she got that power? Some lazy-ass artist never learned how to draw women properly, so he just said.. "Oh, what if she's invisible half the time?" and did that. That bastard...

Let it be known that I am keeping a tally of the ignorant masses who claim that Mr. Fantastic and The Invisible Woman were copied off of Pixar's "The Incredibles." I'm also going to inflict personal harm on anyone who believes the movie to be copied off of the Goliath Serum episode of "The Venture Brothers." >_<