No No No NO! You STUPID CANOLE!

Turns out last night I forgot to write peer reviews for English. That's where we anonymously review other student's essays and tell them how to improve on them. This month's topic is a analysis of a book: "The Storyteller's Daughter" by Saira Shah. In it, a 2nd generation Afghani woman (as in, born and raised in the west) seeks to discover her "home country." When she gets there, she finds out that a lot of the things she'd imagined simply were not so. The story is her coming to terms with the fact that the wonderful paradice her father and grandfather told her Afghanistan was simply does not exist. However, I've read 4 other papers so far doing these peer critiques. Each and every one of them seems to believe that the purpose of the book is to tell people how terrible life is for the citizens of Afghanistan because of the Taliban. And that's it. The completely miss the deeper meaning of Shah's journey to find herself, to desperately try and unite her eastern and western halves. I can't right out tell the people this in my critiques, though. I have to answer the questions. Instead, I'm going to muck through that, then try and see if I can mass e-mail everyone in the class the following:

This letter is to all the students in English 1301 who think the purpose of "The Storyteller's Daughter" is to tell people how terrible the conditions in Afghanistan are. If you did not pick this as your thesis, you're free to go. For the rest of you:

YOU STUPID CANOLE!!!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT! READ IT! SERIOUSLY! READ THE FUCKING BOOK! LOOK AT THE WORDS! SHE'S NOT JUST TELLING YOU WHATS HAPPENING IN AFGHANISTAN! SHE'S ON A FUCKING PERSONAL JOURNEY!!!! MY GOD! I'VE READ FOUR PAPERS SO FAR, AND THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING! PLEASE! READ THE BOOK! IF ONLY FOR MY SANITY!!!! I CAN'T CRITIQUE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE AWEFUL PAPERS!!!!!!! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF FOX NEWS' ASS!!!!!! THE BOOK IS NOT A NEWS REPORT!!! IT'S SHAH'S PERSONAL STORY!!!! THIS IS NOT THE BOOK TO READ TO LEARN ABOUT HOW BAD AFGHANISTAN IS!!!! IT'S NOT THE NOVELIZATION OF THAT DOCUMENTARY SHAH DID!!!!! STOP TREATING IT LIKE THAT!!!! YOU'RE BELITTLING HER WORK!!!!

Thank you for your time.

-Greg Levine

Okay, I feel better. On second thought, I'm not sure if I should sign my name there. I could get into trouble. ._.!