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Where the Hell did this thing come from?


Seriously, what the fuck?

Have I mentioned lately how much I love being crazy?

Old Standbyes

There is one thing that'll make me feel a little better: poking fun at James some more!


Okay, I'm done being mean. But I feel a little better.

This helped, too.

Black13Rose7: I hate totsie pops
Black13Rose7: XD
Effervescence 34: awww
Black13Rose7: do chu like them>?
Effervescence 34: they're just frustrating
Effervescence 34: cuz EVERY TIME i get one
Effervescence 34: im like
Effervescence 34: alright
Effervescence 34: im gonna do it this time
Effervescence 34: im gonna lick until i get to the middle
Effervescence 34: *crunch
Effervescence 34: WHAT THE FUCK!
Black13Rose7: XD
Effervescence 34: I DIDNT EVEN TAKE IT OUTTA THE WRAPPER YET
Effervescence 34: HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?
Effervescence 34: u_u
Black13Rose7: XD!!!
Black13Rose7: well
Black13Rose7: I'll give you a whole lot to experiment with

So, who wants to be my friend NOW?! I'll give you free Tootsie Pops!

Unwanted

I'm unwanted. The only person who ever wants to talk to me lately is Jackie. And that's the reason I don't want to talk to her right now, and in fact is the reason I want to talk to someone else. And no. No one's gonna talk to me. Thanks. I've got no friends. Who are you? Why are you fucking reading this? Because I shoved my blog link down your throat? You probably think this whole site is the dumbest thing you've ever read. Heh. Hell, even a little patronization wouldn't be too bad right now. I'm just so depressed. Yes. I'm depressed. No one cares. I'm emo. Whee. Fuck you all. Heh. Yeah, like someone's reading this. Honestly, if anyone's reading this, then thank you. You care about me, I guess. Or are just bored off your fucking ass? I dunno. I'm just so pissed off right now. At all of my so-called friends.

Actually, what am I talking about. I don't have any friends. I had Jackie. She came first, and I ended up drifting away from everyone else. Now that I don't have her, I don't have anyone. That doesn't mean I'm just going to run to her and then everything will be alright, because yeah, it won't.

This whole thing is really bitchy, but whatever. I feel I'm entitled to bitch every once in a while. My ankle is bleeding like shit right now, and I've been sick for the past few days. And the worst part is. I don't know what I want. I dunno what'll make me feel better.

Anyone out there wanna be my friend?

The Gods Must Be Crazy!

Story first. Rant after.

I hear it from everyone. “Bite me,” they'll say. Then they'll laugh like they said something clever. Like they're the first person to ever say that to a vampire. Seriously, I've gotten tired of it. Depending on how drunk I am, I'll either laugh at them loosely in an attempt to get invited back to their place, or get snappy and lose out on a good meal.

Most other vampires are lucky. We don't display any outward signals to being vampires until we get close and extend our fangs. If you see someone walking down the street smiling with fangs sticking out, he's just a dick vampire showing off. Or he's some dick human with fake teeth. Posers.

Of course, I stand out simply because of my hobbies. Seven-year-olds haven't been allowed in bars since well before I was turned, but that's the appearance I give as I walk into whatever club or dive I decided to visit that particular night. Then I get carded, and yeah, “born 1746”. I'm a vampire, and the whole establishment immediately knows it. Even the air around me becomes polarized, the tension is so strong. Half of the people shy away, afraid that they'll “catch it” or something. Oh well, it gives me a bit of breathing room.

The first to crowd around me are punks that want a fight. They wanna tell their buddies that they beat up an immortal or whatever. Never mind the fact that I'm under four feet tall. I really don't ever want trouble. When a fight between a vampire and a human breaks out in a bar, the vampire always takes the blame. If some punk does show up behind me looking for trouble, it usually just takes a flash of my fangs to convince him to take his business elsewhere. Of course, after two centuries of bar-hopping, I've learned that my body isn't going to take a full grown man out for a fight. I work out, so I'm no slouch, but I'm still working with a seven-year-old frame pretty much, so I'm nowhere near the level of these linebacker barflies. If I can't scare them off, and my bluff gets called, I just turn tail and go. After 200 years of being called names because of what I am, “chicken” just doesn't have any effect on me.

If I can avoid any fights and don't have to leave, the chicks head over. Girls think I'm “cute” or “adorable.” I'm never “hot” or “sexy,” unless its some pedophilic freak., and I've got no interest in being raped. Or sex at all, for that matter. That is the problem with being turned in childhood. No puberty. No sex drive. No sexual feelings at all. So while I've watched all my friends have girlfriends, get married, have kids, generation after generation, I've sat on the sidelines. I'm not really jealous of them, really. Just sort of left out. I dunno.

I guess that's why I come to these bars. It's obviously not for the girls. Nope, I just wanna get drunk off my tiny ass. It's not too hard when you're my size either. Maybe two shots and I'm gone. I try to keep to lighter stuff, and after a while I just switch to water or tea or something. I like being drunk, though. First, I've got centuries of misery I'm looking to drown, and second, it makes it easier to flirt with the dumb bitches who sit by me.

Take last weekend. Perfect case study. I sat at the bar, and just sorta waved to the bartender. I've been here often, Mike knows me. A few of the regulars nod in my direction, but I get to breath easy. I wouldn't become an instant celebrity for once. Of course, I was still the little boy in the bar, so I got some attention for that. After the first ten minutes, I had downed two shots (long day at the office), and had finally gotten some attention. Some guy walked up, and pretty much called me out.

“Hey, kid,” he said. “Ain't you a little short to be drinking, Junior?” He and his buddies started laughing. Drunk. Not like I was feeling any better. I turned on my stool, faced him straight on, and raised my upper lip. Two fangs slid out of my gums and glinted wetly in the low bar light. Not a word. I just grinned a big, overly friendly grin.. He was smart enough to slink off.

I relaxed back into my seat and stared into the glass, tried to act inconspicuous, but the damage was done. I could feel the eyes of the young lady to my left. I didn't need to glance at her to know that her eyes were big with wonder. She'd probably never seen a vampire before. At least, no one that she knew was a vampire. So I was a treat. And as an extra bonus, I was a little kid. Why so many women in their 20's and 30's have an attraction to me is beyond my capacity, but it's been a near constant facet of my life.

Maybe, I thought, maybe if I just stare at the glass she'll take a hint and go away. I was just lying to myself here, but still, it was better to at least try than give her some sign and...

Then I glanced her way, just to check. Fuck! She's still there. I tried to stare back into the glass. If I'd had heat vision, I would have burnt a hole straight through to the bartenders nads.

“Hi.” She spoke. I'd been breached. Prepare for flirting.

“'Ey,” said, not trying to seem too interested. Go away go away, I was thinking at her.

It didn't work. “You're kinda cute.” She followed it with a half-drunken giggle, and ran a hand down my spine.

“Thanks. You're pretty, too.” Fuck. I was talking in my 3rd grader voice. That wasn't the way to shoo her off.

She let out another giggle, and almost hugged me right there. “And so polite too! Do you have a name little boy?”

“Yeah, I'm Tony. Anthony, that is.” Shit, I was nearly wasted too. The thing about cute nick-names, though, is that they're just what chicks think little boys should be named. Anthony is the name of the crusty old wise guy. Tony is the cute adorable little brat that's just bursting with love.

She wanted me to be the latter. “Nice to meet you, Tony.” She was acting like a kindergarten teacher. Great. “My name is Sherry.”

“Uh, hi Sherry.” Well, at least I was being polite. Everyone always tells me they never think I'm drunk. Really I'm just a polite drunk, so no one can tell. But that didn't help me in this case.

I could see the look in her eyes. She was still half drunk, and couldn't decide just how to continue the conversation. Her eyes lit up and she smiled a little more with her expertly crafted line. “So, are you really a vampire?”

I turned and looked back at her. For a moment, I considered just spitting back something coarse and sarcastic, and try and drive home the “not interested” vibe. But then I looked in her eyes and saw just how fascinated she was. She had never seen anything like me, and she wanted to be with me so much that short of physically attacking her, she wouldn't get the point. And even in that extreme, she might still like it. It was kinda creepy, really, but I thought that at least I could make a good meal out of it. “Yeah,” I replied, and eased myself into a more conversational mindset. “Since I was seven years old.”

“Oooh.” The statement should have been pretty obvious, but she seemed to think it was the most interesting thing she'd ever heard anyone say. “What's it like?”

Here it goes, I thought. I've been getting the same line of questioning nearly all my life. “I dunno. What's it like being human?”

She giggled at my preposterous question. “It's BOOORING. Vampires always seem so much more interesting. It's just so... different!”

Yeah, I thought, Different. That's what I've been all this time. Different.

She started in on the same line of questions I always get from people who just know about vampires through myths. “Are you really allergic to sunlight?”

“Nah, we just sunburn very easily. Vampires don't get a lot of the same hormones and enzymes normal humans get. Melanins the most obvious one. That's why all the vampires you see have such pale skin.”

“But they don't all have your pretty blue eyes, Tony.”

I laughed at her compliment. “Thank you, Sherry. But even that's another side effect of the vampirism. Everyone's born with blue eyes. I just never managed to grow outta mine.”

“Oh...” She seemed to suddenly grasp that I really wasn't just a little kid. “So what about crosses and garlic and stuff? You hurt by that?” I could hear her words beginning to slur a bit. I took that as a cue to switch to water.

“No on both counts. For crosses, how well do you think we would do as a species if we were slain by every set of perpendicular lines we saw? Trees on the horizon would kill us.” I paused while she nodded, and gave her a chance to say something, but she just looked at me, so I went on. “And garlic, well, that's just ridiculous. I mean, I don't particularly like the stuff, but it's not gonna kill me. They're both just uban myths.”

“I see. How about a stake through the heart? Would that kill you?”

“Wouldn't it kill you? Geez, Sherry, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying your damndest to kill me here.” She looked surprised at first, but followed my lead when I laughed at the joke. “Seriously, though, we're just as easy to hurt as humans. We just have a greater immune system, and we don't really age, so the only way to kill us is physically. And in that respect, yeah, a stake through the heart would kill me.”

“Hrmmm.... Next question: How did you become a vampire?”

“I got bit by one. My mom, actually.” I averted my eyes just a second, then looked back and tried to smile again.

“Sounds like theres a story behind that.”

“Yeah, but it's complicated.” I smiled more as I saw my opening. “I'd love to tell you on the way to your place...?”

She pretended to mull over the decision for a second. “One more question before we go, then. If you bite me, will that make me a vampire too?”

I just gave her a big toothy smile. I didn't wanna let the girl down just yet.

* * * * *

We decided to take her car. For one because I'd had way too much to drink for my little body to start driving, and besides, my motorcycle only seats one. The car was one of those new little hybrid things, and it looked green in the low light. When she turned on the car, the radio jumped mid-song into some light ambient electronica, a nice change of pace from the bar's hard metal, which I could almost still feel, even down the block from the place. It was something I hadn't heard before, which is getting rarer and rarer as days go by. It was also quiet enough that we could still talk. I was just about to shift the conversation away from myself and onto her, but she beat me to the punch. Ah well. Ladies first, right?

“So, what'd you say, your mother bit you? Isn't that illegal, for a vampire to bite a kid?” I guess she was focusing so hard on driving the car that she didn't have anything left for tact. It was that, or she just didn't know better. Either way, I decided not to lecture her on manners. She'd picked me up because I looked like a cute kid. No reason to spoil the mood by getting all old and crotchety.

I rolled thoughts around in my mind, trying to decide just how to answer her without opening up too much. There was a little bit of drunken sluggishness there, too. After an awkward silence, I thought I'd given her the implication that she'd hurt my feelings a little. I tried to play into that, and then gave her the brave smile of a child who was covering his emotions... It hurts my head even now just trying to think about what I was trying to pull off, and what must have been going through her head at the time. Anyway, I went into character, a dash of tragic child, a dash of wizened elder, and a hint of mystery and adventure.

“I was born in the British colony of Pennsylvania, March 12, 1746, to a farming family. I was the youngest of seven boys and girls, cuz you know, those where the days when you didn't raise children, you raised farmhands. I honestly don't remember much from before I was turned, just the things I was told, and things from books I picked up.

“But a when I was just under three years old, my house got attacked by a feral vampire. At the time it was just me, my mom, my dad, and my brother Nathan, who was all of four at the time. The rest of the family had taken the harvest out to sell at market, I think. Anyway, like I said I don't remember it, but the way my mother told me was that she was feeding me and my brother lunch while my dad did some work outside. He yelled into the house for help and called out 'VAMPIRE!!' My mom sprang into action, and told Nathan to get Dad's shot gun, while she ran outside to help. I was a little to clueless to realize just what was going on, but I remember feeling on edge, if only because Mom was too. A minute later I heard the loud unmistakable noise of gunshots, and I decided I should see what was happening.

“By the time I got there, all I could see was mom and dad lying next to each other on the ground, with mom holding dad close. Mom said the last words he said were 'Take Care' before slipping away. The vampire had sucked him dry.

“Mom hadn't fared much better... She was still alive, thank God, but she was weak. Even worse, she now bore four fang-holes on her neck, marking her as being turned. I don't remember what she looked like before, but after that was the way she looked for the rest of her life.”

Sherry decided to interrupt me here. “So, how exactly does a vampire turn someone? What's so different about four fangs than 2?”

I paused again, though I tried to catch myself this time. I had to figure out the right way to tell her this without giving away too much. “Well, see, these two fangs,” I slid out the fangs from my upper gums to demonstrate, “are just for sucking blood. When a vampire wants to turn someone, they have a lower pair that pushes their own blood back into the bitee, sharing the vampire disease if you will, as well as any other contagions the biter may be carrying. It's really a pretty disgusting process, something like regular human sex.” I decided to stop there, and let her signals tell me where to go next.

“So can I see your lower fangs, then, too?” She was pretty obviously interested in the turning process, and was starting to stare at me with a hint of awe in her eyes.

I got a bit of good luck just then, though. Someone was smiling down on me. “WATCH THE ROAD, SHERRY!” I pointed ahead to the red light. Sherry slammed her breaks on and lost her train of thought. As the car skidded to a halt a few meters from the light, I answered her question. “I don't think now's really a good time.” I took a nervous gulp. “Maybe later.”

I hate lying to them.

She didn't seem to notice, and just went back into the conversation. “So where were we? You told me how your mom became a vampire, but that doesn't explain why she bit you. Did she bite all her kids and start her own coven or whatever?”

“No, you were right earlier, that sort of thing is against the laws. Both humans and vampires forbid turning children.”

“So why did your mother do it then?”

“Because she had to.” I took another sigh, and tried to get my story back on track. Somewhere in my head I knew that this whole sob story was just making her want me more, which made it easier for me to get what I wanted, but at the time I couldn't get the thought that this was really cathartic out of my head. “Well, after dad died, we lost the farm. We'd made enough on the one harvest that we could afford to move in with my uncle, Mom's brother Jeffry, and his family. No one told them that mom had been turned, but they pretty much knew. Anyway, that was the house that I spent the rest of my human childhood in.

“Times were tough. We basically had to hide Mom, and claim that she had died with Dad. It was hard for Uncle Jeffry to get enough food for us all... Anyway, eventually, I got sick. Cholera, I think, though the details from back then are kind of sketch. All I remember is lying in bed sick, and I was looking up at Mom. Jeffry was telling everyone that she was just a maid. The doctor had come in from Philadelphia, and was giving me his best care, but eventually he said something along the lines of 'There's nothing I can do.'

“Mom heard him and just flipped out. She let out this inhuman-sounding howl. It's not a vampire thing so much as a mother thing. She knew that if she turned me, I wouldn't be sick any more. But she also knew it would mean death for her. There wasn't any room for appeal. Any vampire that attacked a child was to be killed on site. I looked up in her eyes, and it was half hazy. I remember her saying “I love you, son,” and then she just started sucking.

“I felt each prick... It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before or since. I'd seen mom feed before. She was usually rough about it, not caring, just hungry. But this was very gentle. She was somewhat rushed, but she still took care. I didn't feel like I was being bitten so much as being held. It was...”

I stopped. We'd come to a park in front of her place. A dorm. Oh boy, college meat. This should be entertaining.

Eventually I realized she hadn't left he car yet. She was staring at me, with her eyes sparkling like she had just heard the most wonderful fairy tale. “That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard, Tony.” She took my hand and pulled me out of the car through her door. She lead me like she was my big sister, or mother. So many of the girl's I pick up (get picked up by?) have weird issues with children. They see me and just stop at the seven year old body, and decide that I'm their little brother or new son and they're gonna adopt me. You women who think you are objectified by men have no idea how guilty you are of the exact same thing.

So anyway, we got to her dorm, and she turned on the light. It was a typical dorm, lightly furnished, papers and books all over the place. She sat down on one of the beds and patted at her side, motioning for me to join her. This was actually the first time all night I'd gotten a good look at her. The light in the bar was terrible. She, on the other hand, is actually very beautiful. Nothing like a supermodel or anything like that, and a little too heavily made up for my tastes, but I decided that she wouldn't be a bad person to spend a night with. I sat down next to her and leaned into her side, my head resting on her bosom. I was glad that it doesn't make me shudder the way I had in the past. I've learned to get past the issues with relating every pair of above average breasts to my mother.

“Hey, Sherry,” I whine in a well-rehearsed voice. “The lights are kinda bright. Do you think you could turn them off?” She kicked off both her shoes, and one of them hit the target. The lights switched off, and we were alone in the darkness. I know it's cliché, but I like the darkness. It's the greatest equalizer to me. Nothing can take away from my size, but at least in the dark I don't LOOK like a vampire. Or a kid.

My internal musings were interrupted by Sherry leaning back. I was surprised and fell on her, prompting a laugh out of both of us. Her laugh turned into a sigh as she stretched her hands out. I could almost feel them arching out behind her head, scraping against the wall, and then sliding around me. She was done being polite about it. She wanted me to be with her. I felt her hands grab me and pull me on top of her, and suddenly I was facing down into her eyes, and her lips were locked to mine. I moved my hands over her body in ways I knew from experience she'd find pleasing, and she did the same to me.

Eventually she broke our kiss and put two fingers over my lips. “Tony,” she purred. “I want you to bite me. I want to be a vampire too, and then I'll be with you and you'll never be alone.”

“You really wanna do that for me?” I asked, kissing at her neck, letting my lips find the spot with the biggest flow. I knew she didn't. It was just some combination of alcohol, tiredness, and infatuation with the concept of me, but I've learned to play along.

“Yes. Please Tony. Bite me.”

I didn't need any more prompting. I dug my teeth into her. Not my fangs; my actual teeth, giving her an initial surge of pleasure. I felt her arching her back under me, with me riding her like some crazy beautiful beast. That's when I struck. My fangs slit into her neck like twin needles, and instantly found purchase. I started sucking away at her throat. I could feel her having an almost orgasmic sensation from her pleasure. I was her wildest fantasy come true.

I was exactly that. A fantasy. Everything I'd told her about how vampires pass it on, how the lower fangs are what makes new vampires, was true. But it only applied to females. Males can't make their lovers (or drunken college hook-ups) into fellow vampires. I didn't want to spoil Sherry's evening, because she was so into the fantasy, so I told her what she'd wanted to hear. I'd told half-truths. I'd omitted the crucial details. I didn't tell her that because vampires have no human reproductive system, sex is just an inconsequential game with us. I didn't tell her there was nothing I could do to make her one of us.

I'd learned over the centuries exactly how much blood you can drain from a person. Too much and they die on you, and the cops love to persecute vampire offenses. Too little and you're still hungry. But if you time it right, you can get just enough blood from a person to make them pass out. That's what I did to Sherry that night. When I felt her slipping under, I retracted my fangs and became nearly instantly docile, gently kissing her, cooing her to sleep under me. I pulled her covers over her, and let her dream about the vampire she wished she was. That's all it was. A dream. That's all it would ever be. Just a dream. Same as me. A one night stand. A myth you can't prove to your friends because I slip out under the cover of darkness. Alone.

I'm always alone.

The clock on the wall said 2:15 as I slipped out of the dorm room. I reached into my pocket for my phone to call a cab home. Instead my fingers found a pen and some paper. I scribbled something on it. “Tony – 512 350 1295” As I slid the paper under her door, I couldn't help but think that I was gonna regret it the next day.

Oh well. One day at a time. Maybe tomorrow I wouldn't have to be so lonely.

Meh, I'll fix the italics later.

Happy Halloween kiddies! I hope you enjoyed my little treat. Not exactly in the spirit of the day, but a little festive none-the less. I might write more about him. As I wrote more and more, I started to like Tony. He's fun to write for. I hope he's as much fun to read.

I've been beaten up by wind all day today. It's annoying. I really think some Wind God or something has decided I've upset him by making fun of that line from "the Storyteller's Daughter." I really meant no disrespect, dear jinn. Please stop buffetting my bike around all day.

Okay, I'm fucking exhausted. I've been writing for around 3 hours straight. I hope you like it. Yeah, it's seven pages, and it changes tense. Is that really so bad? As I got near the end, I felt like I could have written the whole thing past tense, and avoided a little confusion, but I'll leave it up to you for now. Email, message, something, to share the opinion. Yeah, that is my phone number that Tony gives Sherry. He wasn't gonna originally, but after all I've been through recently, I was in the mood for a happier ending. But yeah, don't call me while I'm napping now.

Or when I'm sleeping.

Or in class.

Or just ever, really.

Phones hurt my brain. x_x

What's In A Name

Random monthly webchat:

Black13Rose7: wouldn't chu say that destinys a popular name?
Effervescence 34: for a stripper?
Effervescence 34: o_0
Black13Rose7: well like
Black13Rose7: chu know what I mean
Effervescence 34: yeah, i guess it is
Effervescence 34: more so than October
Effervescence 34: i still say October is an awesome name
Black13Rose7: chu never said that before
Black13Rose7: XD
Effervescence 34: yeah I did
Effervescence 34: its like
Effervescence 34: a boys name
Effervescence 34: girls get april through august
Effervescence 34: i want october for boys
Black13Rose7: I have an aunt june
Effervescence 34: yeah, see?
Black13Rose7: I have an aunt Nancy September
Black13Rose7: wtf
Black13Rose7: XD
Effervescence 34: April, May, June, Julia/Julie (july) , and August
Effervescence 34: they're all pretty names
Effervescence 34: I think October is a good name
Effervescence 34: for a boy born in October
Effervescence 34: but still
Black13Rose7: XD
Black13Rose7: that's so mean
Effervescence 34: why?
Black13Rose7: cause
Black13Rose7: XD
Effervescence 34: i really think its a good name
Black13Rose7: your kids teachers will think you were on crack
Effervescence 34: sounds like a stout german boy
Black13Rose7: XD
Effervescence 34: SO WHAT IF I WAS!?
Effervescence 34: I CLEANED UP!
Effervescence 34: o_0
Effervescence 34: 0_o
Effervescence 34: your stupid teacher needs to learn to mind her own business before i 'crack' her in the skull
Effervescence 34: hehe
Effervescence 34: being evil is WAY more fun than being good

Anyway, that's not all for today. I will come up with a true full post, full of Halloween goodies for you all, and bitching about random weather paterns. Plus! Chopper Dave with the Greg-you-Weather Forcast. Dave?

"OH FUCK MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY!!! WHO PUT ALL THIS CHEESE IN THIS THI~"

Um... Maybe not.

What The Hell?

Wow... I just read about this comic on Scott Adam'sDilbert Blog . I don't know why you can't show a gun shooting bullets, but I can't imagine what would make a donut-shaped gun better than a gun-shaped gun. Anyway, there it is. I laughed.

Spring Cleaning

I've been cleaning up stray typoes and stuff in past articles. No new information, so you're not missing anything. I just felt like that needed saying. Also, I've been blogging a lot the past few days. Remember to check the archives if you haven't checked me out in a while.

Now back to work fighting an unending tide of poorly formatted iTunes files. Rawr.

Cuteness

My current wallpaper is cute. I had to share it, lets I lose it to the sands of time and randomization. Here 'tis:


Yeah, those are boys. So? They're SO CUUUTE! Plus, anyone who complains about that has no right to enjoy these ones, either:




So hah. *Sticks tongue out.*

My CS Proffessor is Larry Miller

I spent a good half of class today listening to the way Dr. Desrosiers talked, and realized that it sounded a LOT like Larry Miller, or at least the stand up special he did on Comedy Central. This page has the rundown of one of his better bits. Edit: That is, Miller's bits, not my professor. My professor doesn't have any bits. Duh

OMG COINFLIPS!!!

I have the best deck idea in my head EVER! And finally a use for all those fucking March of the Machines I have. Observe:

Effervescence 34: check this madness out
ICE ataim: crazy
Effervescence 34: yes
Effervescence 34: i have decided to make that deck
Effervescence 34: using 4x of the following:
Effervescence 34: Krark's Thumb
Effervescence 34: mirror gallary
Effervescence 34: *gallery
Effervescence 34: copy artifact
Effervescence 34: Sculpting Steel
Effervescence 34: March of the machines
Effervescence 34: Clone
Effervescence 34: Sakashima, the Imposter
Effervescence 34: and mana clash
Effervescence 34: with the purpose of getting all 20 copies of the thumb into play at once
Effervescence 34: and then doing 2^20 coin flips

BOOYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I WILL HAVE SO MANY COINS FLIPPING YOU WILL NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. Maybe then I'll just go for the Chance Encounter victory, using some other coin-flip card and find some other cards that let me flip stuff. Goblin Bookie, anyone?

Yeah, I'm evil

Hehe

Trying to cheer myself up. I got a nifty wallpaper on my rotation. Not only am I gonna keep it up, I wanna show all you fine folks too:


[Edit] I lied, the colors were just kinda off for me. I'm rotating through now, and probably won't tell you where I stop next time. HAH![/Edit]

And then there's this picture, but I'm only gonna link it, cuz it's kinda... different.

Yeah.

INTERESTING IF TRUE

Check this out. And yes, it's true. I opened up paint to test for myself. It blew my mind.

Drizzling

It's drizzeling outside right now. Or misting. Or hazing. Its wet, either way. My glasses are still a little messed up by it.

I've had these two songs running in circles through my head the past few days, taunting me with bitter irony.

Smashing Pumpkins - Zero

My reflection, dirty mirror
There's no connection to myself
I'm your lover, I'm your zero
I'm the face in your dreams of glass
So save your prayers
For when we're really gonna need'em
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride?

She's the one for me
She's all I really need
Cause she's the one for me
Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me
Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness
Bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms
The fashion victims chew their charcoal teeth
I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down
You blame yourself, for what you can't ignore
You blame yourself for wanting more
She's the one for me
She's all I really need
She's the one for me
She's my one and only

The Pretenders - Walking on Sunshine

I used to think maybe you loved me now baby i'm sure
And i just cant wait till the day when you knock on my door
Now everytime i go for the mailbox, gotta hold myself down
Cos i just can't wait till you write me you're coming around

Im walking on sunshine , wooah
Im walking on sunshine, woooah
Im walking on sunshine, woooah
and dont it feel good!!

Hey , alright now
and dont it feel good!!
hey yeah

i used to think maybe you loved me, now i know that its true
and i dont want to spend my whole life, just in waiting for you
now i dont want u back for the weekend
not back for a day , no no no
i said baby i just want you back and i want you to stay

woah yeh!
Im walking on sunshine , wooah
Im walking on sunshine, woooah
Im walking on sunshine, woooah
and dont it feel good!!

Hey , alright now
and dont it feel good!!
hey yeah ,
and dont it feel good!!

walking on sunshine
walking on sunshine

i feel the love, i feel the love, i feel the love thatsreallyreal
i feel the love, i feel the love, i feel the love thatsreallyreal

Im on sunshine baby oh
Im on sunshine baby oh

im walking on sunshine wooah
im walking on sunshine wooah
im walking on sunshine wooah

and dont it feel good!!
ill say it again now
and dont it feel good!!

It's ironic because those are exactly the kinds of things I used to tell Jackie. It's ironic because they're exactly what I could say to her right now to make her feel so much better. But I don't feel that way about Jackie right now.

My mother used to tell me that my dad felt that he had been trapped into marrying her, and that's why their marriage didn't work. It sounds rediculous, really, being trapped into marriage, but I was starting to feel the same way. I was feeling trapped into being with Jackie. I felt like I had to stay with her, or else she would break down and cry and feel bad and it would be my fault. And while that was perfectly true, it's not a real reason for being in a relationship, is it? Or at least, it can't be the only reason. I'm sorry I put you through all this, Jackie. I really wish I could tell you that everything was gonna be okay between us, but I'm just not sure what's going to happen. I know I always want you in my life, but I could say the same thing about a lot of people. I don't know how you fit. I WANTto love you, and to feel for you the way you feel for me, but I don't, and I won't lie to you about it anymore. I want you to feel a love from someone that's really real.

*Plays "Walking on Sunshine" on bagpipes, like at Fry's funeral.*

Do dodo do dooo dooo.....

Some People Are Better Off Dead

Golgari Query: "There's a movie trailer being run on television currently that has a tagline something like, “Some people are better left dead.” I didn't think much of it when I heard it, but Mark Gottlieb recently pointed out that that statement kind of implies that it's okay to resurrect most people. Just be careful which ones you choose. How absurd is that?"

I had to save that somewhere. That's great. Also, whoever just said "The republicans are eating their young" on the Daily Show.

And then, speaking of dead people, I've found a product that Charlton Heston will never yell in the streets about.

HUFU IS MADE OF PEOPLE!!! IT'S PEOPLE!!!!

Oh, no, it's just tofu. Never mind.

That's like two different kids of ick at once. Though honestly, I've never actually tried tofu. And, as for people...

When You Live In Spain, It Should Be Impossible To Not Know Spanish

I'm watching the Mask of Zorro. For those of you who've never seen it, well, this may contain spoilers. You've been warned. Okay, so it takes place in Mexico, but everyone just speaks English. And I think, oh, okay, it's a storytelling device to get the point across without subtitles.

And then I get to this scene. Elena (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is the daughter of the original Zorro. Except that she was kidnapped from him by some evil Spanish nobleman guy, and taken away to Spain, until just about the beginning of the movie. And she shows up in Mexico, and is like "I know this flower, but it only grows in Mexico," or "I recognize you, old Zorro in disguise, but you've never been to Spain." So yeah, she starts to catch on that something's amiss.

And then the break through. An old merchant lady recognizes her, and gives her a gift. When Elena tries to return it, the lady is speaking in Spanish, and has her grand-daughter or something translate for her. And I'm like... "Wait... She's lived in either Spain or Mexico all her life. Why doesn't she know Spanish?"

Anyway, that's my big point. Catherine Zeta-Jones is SUCH a dumbass that even the characters she plays don't know their national Languages. I mean yeah, I can understand that the daughter of a noble-man in Europe would know English. But she should also know SPANISH if you're gonna live in SPAIN! If your father is a Spanish Nobleman, how can you NOT know Spanish? AGH!!!!

*My Head Asplode*

No Words

Right now I'll bet a lot of you are asking "Where does Greg find this stuff?"



Maybe a better question is "Why does Greg show people this shit?"

I don't know the answer to either question. Though I do like the picture on some very disturbing levels.

A World Of Human Wreckage

Heh. Did I show you guys this link about a method of waking up and not feeling tired? You set your music to play quietly for about an hour or so before you have to get up, and keep the alarm as a last ditch emergency thing. It seemed like a good idea, so I decided to give it a shot. I set my music to go off at 8AM since my classes all start at 9 or 930, and Matt's alarm always goes off fifteen minutes before class starts, which is plenty of time to get ready and go. So, this morning, I got woken up a little harshly by the beep of my music popping on, and I thought, well, it's only 8, my class isn't for an hour and a half, and there's nothing else for me to do between now and then anyway, so I'll just go back to sleep and take an hour nap, and let Matt's alarm wake me up.

Matt's alarm didn't go off. He didn't have class today. X_X. The good news is, the class I slept through was chemistry, and so all I missed was a review of last nights test, but yeah, I'm switching my music alarm back 15 minutes, and from now on, I'll stay up when I hear it.

Okay, so that's what I've been doing this morning. Now for the rough part. Why haven't I written since Monday? I'm sure none of you care, really. Who besides me honestly checks live bookmarks more than once a day? But yeah, I haven't been putting out blogs as much as I'd like. I wish I could just blame it on my vampire story. I've recently decided that that would be a good festive one to put up on Halloween, but to begin with I was thinking I'd write it out Monday afternoon and post it that night. Then I hit a writing block. Namely, I was having trouble with tenses and perspectives. Remember when I wrote the twin stories of Conflict? Both of them in first-person present tense? Basically internal monologues, I guess. That's what I'm doing with this one, only I'm having trouble moving back into a past-tense voice when he's discussing a past event. Sigh....

But yeah, that's what I wish I could blame it on. Really, though... I've been having issues with my girlfriend. Namely, I'm not sure I want to be her boyfriend anymore. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl and all, and I still wanna be her friend, but I've lately come to the unfortunate epiphany that I'm with her more often than not because she want's me there, and the only reason I agree is because I don't want her to get upset that I'm not there. It's almost become a chore I do simply because not doing it is more of a hassle than doing it. And really, that's not what I want out of my relationship. Spending time with my girlfriend shouldn't be the lesser of two evils. It should be something I do because I enjoy it. And if it's not, then, I really don't want to be lying to her and myself about it. I really want to want to be with her. It's all highly confusing, and sometimes I just wish I had someone I could talk to about it that was somewhat impartial about it. I tried talking about it with her, which helped a little really, but it's still too close to the core problem for me to really feel better. And I tried talking to Mike, who's pretty much adopted Jackie as his sister, who threatened to kill me if I hurt her, which I felt was going to happen either way really, so no help there. X_X I dunno. I just need more time to think, I guess. Or talk, if you're up for it. No pressure.

Yeah, right. You all know I'm a fucking manipulative bastard. I'll say just the right thing to get you to make me feel better, and I don't care half the time. The other half, yeah, I care, and I make myself feel better by being more manipulative. I don't fucking trust myself to be honest. Is that good?

x_x

Just Another Manic Monday

If you haven't seen this yet, you should. I don't want to spoil what it's about, but trust me, it's great, and well worth it.

Anyway, on a totally unrelated note, today is not going so great for me today. Matt decided to stay up until 3AM playing Diablo, and I couldn't get to sleep for his clicking and spellcasting, much as I tried. I need some portable minispeakers or something. Reguardless, I couldn't get enough sleep to get to classes today, which is sorta upsetting. I just put a lot of work into finishing my programming project and taking tests and finishing essays; I don't want to flunk out again because I couldn't get enough sleep. Of course, Matt decided to get up and go to class, then come back and take a nap just as I'm deciding to wake up. X_X

So, that means I can't watch TV without waking him up (I watched that presentation thing though, and the applause at the end prompted a call of "HEADPHONES!" from him). I suppose I could write. I finally don't have any homework, and a nice quiet time. That's what I'll do. I'll be online, but if I don't answer so easily, now you know why.

Lindsay Lohan Is A Horny Slut

Look, personally, I think that what a pop star does in their own life is none of my business. Sure, they are role models, and shouldn't be TOO bad, but really, as long as its nothing too terrible, I'm fine with it. On the other hand, I just saw Lindsay Lohan singing this song on the Disney Channel. Now, this song has one aspect for the Herbie movie; she's in a race and wants to come in first place. But I'm rarely looking at the TV when her ad comes on, so I just heard the words. To a guy like me (a.k.a. a guy), they're dirty. As near as I can tell, she's telling her boyfriend "Hey, I know you came before all your other girls, but with me, you gotta wait for me TO COME FIRST."

Look at the song, then come back.

Back? Good. In case you missed it, she's talking about sex. On Disney Channel. *Gasps.* That foul temptress. I hope she never comes first again.

I saw Doom today! It was... meh, really. But I got a preview of Underworld 2, so that was cool.

I lost my train of thought, sorry. I'm still working on the vampire story thing, as many of you probably know already. And yes, while I will have immortal vampires who look like young children, I'm not going to use that as an excuse for rampant pedophilia. As far as I'm concerned, vampires who were bitten before puberty never have puberty, and thus no sex drives. I'm still working on the mechanics, but that much I'm pretty clear on. Anyway, I'l talk to you later.

Weird Stuff

Google has this new home page thingy. It rocks, because it loads up whatever RSS lists I want, PLUS my Gmail and Google news. So hah!

Anyway, I'm watching Underworld right now. It got me thinking. Firstly, about the nature of superstition regarding vampires and werewolves. But beyond that, the logistics of hiding an alternate sentient species from the majority of the world. In all the modern vampire stories, vampires exist as well organized leages, like corperations or governments, or their own religion. There are scores of them. And all their amazing vampire activity (having wild blood raves, leaping across roofs, shootouts with werewolves or other vampires, etc) are expertly covered up by a vampire controlled media.

That's right folks. There isn't a liberal bias or a conservative bias in the media. There is an Undead bias in the media. O_O!

But continuing, that seems like a lot of work. Why not just reveal themselves to the population. I mean sure, to start with you'll end up with a senario not unlike that of the X-Men, but since vampirism, unlike mutation, is contageous, the numbers would rise faster, and in time you'd have a very relevant and vocal minority to deal with.

Anyway, I've started wondering exactly what I could do with a vampire storyline where vampires exist out in the open. Not running and hiding, as much as living out daily lives along side humans (and maybe vampires. Look for something along those lines to come from me soon.

//Spoilers from the end of Underworld follow! Warning!
Speaking of X-Men Vs. Vampires: Apparently when you combine vampires and werewolves, you get a blue guy who can pop around the room instantanously. In other words - Kurt "Nightcrawler" Wagner.

O_O!

*Bamf!*

I Close My Eyes

Only for a moment, then the moment's gone....

All we are, is dust, in the wind, dude.

Dust- :.',;

Wind- ~=~w

Dude- Socrates

If you caught any of that, you're smarter than me. The point is I'm tired.

"The point is he's DEAD! and the Matrix died with him!"
"The point is, you're a fool!"

When I get tired, I start quoting inanely. And misspelling. And other forms of typo. To bed!

Exhausted

Hurray for 12+ hour programming binges! X_X. I just finished my blackjack game that's due in 2 hours. Or rather, I FINISHED it at 5AM, except for stupid documentation. GRRRR.... Anyway, that's over with. I have class in under 2 hours, like I said, so sleeping seems counter-prouctive. I'll take a nice relaxing nap after math class.

Though all this does raise the question: What am I going to do about the Magic tournament? I actually finished this on time, and I feel like I deserve a reward. But after yesterday's type 2 rotation, I don't have any decent deck to speak of for tonight. *Sob* Oh well. My black deck was specifically designed with the rotation in mind. There's maybe 8 cards that need to go (12 actually - 4 bonesplitters, 4 terrors, and, with the splitter's out of the picture, the ornithopters aren't very good either). I think I know what I'll replace them with, though. I have one putrify from Ravnica (if I had more, I'd put them in too, but I think I will just go and switch my deck to being a B/g deck (that's Black with a splash of Green). Naturalizes (along with the aformentioned putrify), Sakura-Tribe elders, and maybe even the pretty Jitte I got a few weeks back.

Anyway, I can't think. I don't know why I'm bothering to go to classes this morning, but I feel somewhat obligated to, so I guess I will. Obviously, I HAVE to go to CompSci to turn in my project. I may skip math, now that I think of it. We'll see how I feel after Computers. I've already got a feeling in the pit of my stomach that comes from either not eating, not sleeping, or being sick. I ate a bit more tonight than usual, so I doubt that's it.... Anywho, I'm not going to sleep now... though I COULD! I promised Jackie I'd give her a call when I was through, so that's what I'm going to do. Too bad it was.... 7 hours late? *Shrugs.* And maybe after a short call I'll try and get in a nap before comp sci. I don't think that's a really good idea, though. I'd prolly just sleep through everything. Yay Hybernol.

The Method To My Madness

Look, it turns out James was wrong. I'm not debating all the time. I'm just using the Socratic method. ^_^

Seriously, that's what I do. I don't debate my opinion against another person's opinion out of spite, I just want to get to the truth. Therefore, when presented with a thesis, I present the antithesis. I like being the Devil's Advocate, really. When someone proves my antithesis wrong (which happens a good deal of the time), I'll admit defeat and drop it. Conversely, the other side should as well when confronted with evidence that directly contrasts with their case.

The problem with James, as I see it, was that he didn't see it as opinions battling, so much as people. He had a hard time disconnecting his IDEAS with himself. I had nothing against James, really. I was just defending myself against his claims that I was bad in some abject way because I quoted the Lion King. I don't know why he decided to make such a big fuss over a simple quote, but regardless, I'll contend that he started this all.

For my own part, I admit that I took it too far, and didn't realize soon enoguh that James was percieving my self-defence as an offence against HIM. It's not. I don't have anything wrong with the way he lives his life. I just asked that he not berate me for the way I live mine. And that's about where we are today.

I still condend, and Matt agrees with me, that I don't debate too much. If someone presents bullshit, I feel obligated to say "Hey, that's bullshit." James just happens to do this a lot, vis a vis his rant about how some girl he'd never met shouldn't complain about her life because it isn't as bad as his own. I'm not gonna go into WHY that's bullshit here (I've done so earlier, but James deleted all the comments. If you want, I'll explain it to you personally), but it IS patently bullshit.

I don't get why James sees this as some sort of huge problem I have on an order of magnitude that would mean I should be put with other crazy people in the Rugby School. I question things I don't agree with. I question things that are simply taken for granted. Where's the problem? I question things that need questioning. I'm sorry more people don't. The world would probably be better off if they did so.

Links Are Fun

James should look into them. But yeah, I've been quoted, which is LIKE linking, only without all that annoying Hyper-Text Mark-up Language. For reference, and just to set up some perspective, he pulled his quote from an entry about BREAST IMPANT MUSIC PLAYERS. Good choice of subject matter there. I won't deny though that yeah, I argue a lot. I present my opinion when I find an opening. If there's a discussion going on, simply agreeing gets boring to me, especially if the prevailing opinion seems to be wrong to me. As Matt put it, said earlier here, "You're never wrong to voice your opinion. If you say somthing that's wrong, though, you should be prepared to have someone tell you so." Maybe Matt's just as weird as I am, though. This is hardly a conclusive study here.

Speaking of inconclusive things, and this is from the passage that James actually quoted himself: "More than half of Matt and my discussions about who was in what movie, or something really trivial like that, arise in the cafeteria...." So these aren't really debates, so much as hey, who sung this song that's on the radio? How many movies were Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider in together? Random stuff like that. It's hardly policy debate. Even when it IS policy debate, and we do have a few of those, we keep it civil, like I was trying to do with James, too. He was the one who saw my self-defence as a persistant attack. I was just trying to quote the Lion King. I didn't want to make some big thing out of it until James used it to prove that I was totally immature for liking the Disney Channel.

Really, I thought this was done with when James blocked me totally from his site. I'm almost inspired that he's reading, my blog. Some sort of communication is open. He may not read it as avidly as I check his for open posts, but I guess he just hasn't discovered the wonders of RSS links and the likes. I swear by them myself. Hint for those of you using Firefox - it's that orange button in the lower right of the window. Click it and you get a live, self updating bookmark feed. It's nifty, eh?

Okay, well, talk to you later. Including you, James.

Wacko Jacko

Jack Thompson has been continuing his tussle with the boys at Penny Arcade. It seems that Jack's $10,000 challenge was simply "satire", as he puts it. *Sighs* Oh well, I'm glad Gabe and Tycho stepped in to pay the man's due anyway.

When I first heard about Thompson's appearance on CNN tonight (the last post on PA as of now), I was excited, thinking it would be an in depth interview with the man, and even lightly entertained the possibility that Gabe and/or Tycho would appear as a counterpoint. Sadly, it was just a 3 minute segment about the new game "Blitz: The League" by Midway, which is about an ultra-violent football league. In a way, the game is Midway's protest to EA's exclusive contract with the NFL. It's absurdly violent, and even has the option to distract opponants with prostitutes. Isn't football grand? Obviouisly, its rated M, and Thompson showed up for 30 seconds to protest that the ratings system's ineffectiveness. While I'll agree that stores need to enforce their own M-Rating policies better, shouldn't some of the blame be placed on the parents who give their kids the money for a $50 game without knowing what it is? Seriously, just take a peek at what they got, and if you don't want your kid playing it, return it. Easy as pie.

Concerns

This is what I wrote for todays "TTopic Post" for english:

Today's class was really helpful to me, which is honestly not always something I can say. Doing peer reviews for this essay had been somewhat frustrating. All the paper's I'd read claimed that Shah's book was a cry for help, telling everyone how horrible the people in Afghanistan had it. I think that this couldn't be farther from the truth, though. She isn't trying to bring the conditions of the country to the public light. She's simply trying to come to terms with that part of her own life. This is not a factual, look at what happens in Iraq book. Rather, it's very introspective, on Shah's inner struggle to unite East and West within herself. That said, when I looked at the papers I was supposed to critique, the first thoughts in my head were very disparaging about the writers. I tried my best to be impartial towards the topic, but it was hard to avoid putting in a “I think you did this wrong here” or a “re-read this passage, and look for this instead”. When I got to the fourth peer paper I nearly lost it. I had to vent my frustration with the amounts of (what I perceived to be) wrong opinions at a friend before I could write that critique. I addressed this concern in class, and actually got a dialog going, I realized that what the students are supposed to be doing is not determining what the actual true purpose of the book is. Rather, the goal is to put forth a thesis and back it up with evidence from the book. Whether their thesis is right or not isn't the issue. My primary concern should be, and will be from now on, about what is used to back up the thesis.

Just thought it should be saved or something.

Changing It Up

I switched the title! Gasp! Yeah, "Greg's Amazing Blog" is, first off, an egotistical title. This blog is barely amazing, and I don't really need my name up there, I guess. You all know who I am. Meanwhile, "Recreational Bullshit" is much more descriptive of what this site is, really. I often entertain delusions that this site will give me world-reknowned fame, that something I put up here will be awesome. Of course, no one's gonna take "Greg's Amazing Blog" seriously. Thats the name of some middle/high schooler's stupid ranting blog. "Recreational Bullshit" is way edgier. I like it. And so there it is. Welcome to Recreational Bullshit. Enjoy your stay.

What Is That... That Freaky Thing?

Yes, that's right. It's a naked mole rat.

Yeah, I'm watching Kim Possible. Being randomly immature is fun.

Anyway, I wrote this really because I forgot to plug Comedy Central's new "Colbert Report" (its french, the T's are silent, so you get Colbear Repore). It's great Steven Colbert has done some great things. I particularly liked last Sunday's episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law (he playes Phil Ken Seben, among others). In any case, last nights episode of the Report was great. It was basically a 30 minute long spoof on the Fox News Channel in particular, and other similar techniques used by the media in general. It was pretty good, but Matt pointed out that you know, it may get old after a week or so.

The Daily Show is good because, through it all, Jon Stewart is really just riffing on current events. He plays himself most of the time. But Steven? He's set up the whole show around a persona, which will pretty soon get tired for being so over the top. I don't really think there's enough material out there for four or five shows a week of media scare tactics. Hell, the media can only do it by reiterating the same things that occur each half hour as is. Comedy doesn't work if you reiterate it every night. It would be a cute replacement for the Daily Show, say on Friday nights, when they don't usually show it.

Anyway, I'll watch it through the week anyway, because I've seen Adult Swim enough to know the shows by heart. If I REALLY wanna watch whatever I'd miss, I'll go watch it again at 1AM or whatever.

Okay, that's all for now. Later folks.

ZOMG ZOMBIES!!!!

ZOMBIES. ROCK.

Okay, seriously, I watched the movie Dawn of the Dead today. It was cool, though the zombie baby was the scariest thing ever. Well, not really. Like, I saw it coming a mile away. Who wouldn't? Pregnant woman in a zombie movie, everyone really excited about the baby being born. Babies aren't born during zombie crisises. They are concieved during them. Then they're born 9 months later when the survivors are all living together in a lovely house in the middle of nowhere.

But yeah, so the baby was doomed before it was born. Turns out mom was "infected" (I'm not sure how the zombie thing really started in this case, but she had caught it), and ended up dying to a combination of labor and a bad case of zombie-itis. The baby was born stillborn. Seconds later, mom wakes up, fully zombie (dad was smart and tied her down), and gets a solid bullet to the head. Then comes the climax... Baby! The creep up on the well covered baby girl, and just as they pull the cloth away.... ZOMBIE!!!!! GASP!!!!! It gets shot too, though you don't see it.

Anyway, I just kept looking at the mom's pregnant belly, before the birth, and thinking... "That zombie baby is gonna pop out and eat someone, I just know it..." I kept changing the channel, cuz I'm a scardy cat, but in the end I was thoroughly diappointed that they didn't go for it. Of course, then it hit me that really, a zombie baby isn't that scary. Adult zombies can barely lurch. I doubt a baby zombie could learn to crawl, let alone walk, with its zombie brain. Especially without encouragement. Creepy, yes. But a threat? Not really.

Okay, so barring that spoiler, its a good movie. I don't wanna spoil the ending, but the end credits (which you should obviously watch through) were the best credits I've ever seen. BOOBIE!!!

Anyway, after seeing that, I now want to play with some magic zombies. Not many zombies in Ravnica, and I think exactly ZERO in Kamigawa block. Mirrodin block had some, but nothing good. But of course, if you'll look back through those decks I listed earlier, Zombie Infestation was listest in relation to the Psychatog Deck. I love Zombie Infestation. It was part of the central combo for my old infinite zombies deck, which rocked. So I may just throw in a few Zombie Infestations (2) into a 'Tog deck, and see how it goes.

As a closer, I thought of the New York motto - the city that never sleeps. It started in an episode of Kim Possible where a blackout struck Paris:

Paris: The city that frequently sleeps.

Then I moved on and came up with these, too.

The North Pole: The city that sees you when you're sleeping.
Los Angeles: Breath too much and you won't wake up.
Moscow: The city where you really shouldn't try to sleep. (Cold and all)
Madrid: The city with lots of naps.
Austin: The city where the neighbors won't let you sleep.
Lubbock: That fucking train goes through in the middle of the night.

And finally, if Ravnica had some stupid zombies:

Ravnica: The city where even the dead don't ever sleep.

No No No NO! You STUPID CANOLE!

Turns out last night I forgot to write peer reviews for English. That's where we anonymously review other student's essays and tell them how to improve on them. This month's topic is a analysis of a book: "The Storyteller's Daughter" by Saira Shah. In it, a 2nd generation Afghani woman (as in, born and raised in the west) seeks to discover her "home country." When she gets there, she finds out that a lot of the things she'd imagined simply were not so. The story is her coming to terms with the fact that the wonderful paradice her father and grandfather told her Afghanistan was simply does not exist. However, I've read 4 other papers so far doing these peer critiques. Each and every one of them seems to believe that the purpose of the book is to tell people how terrible life is for the citizens of Afghanistan because of the Taliban. And that's it. The completely miss the deeper meaning of Shah's journey to find herself, to desperately try and unite her eastern and western halves. I can't right out tell the people this in my critiques, though. I have to answer the questions. Instead, I'm going to muck through that, then try and see if I can mass e-mail everyone in the class the following:

This letter is to all the students in English 1301 who think the purpose of "The Storyteller's Daughter" is to tell people how terrible the conditions in Afghanistan are. If you did not pick this as your thesis, you're free to go. For the rest of you:

YOU STUPID CANOLE!!!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT! READ IT! SERIOUSLY! READ THE FUCKING BOOK! LOOK AT THE WORDS! SHE'S NOT JUST TELLING YOU WHATS HAPPENING IN AFGHANISTAN! SHE'S ON A FUCKING PERSONAL JOURNEY!!!! MY GOD! I'VE READ FOUR PAPERS SO FAR, AND THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING! PLEASE! READ THE BOOK! IF ONLY FOR MY SANITY!!!! I CAN'T CRITIQUE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE AWEFUL PAPERS!!!!!!! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF FOX NEWS' ASS!!!!!! THE BOOK IS NOT A NEWS REPORT!!! IT'S SHAH'S PERSONAL STORY!!!! THIS IS NOT THE BOOK TO READ TO LEARN ABOUT HOW BAD AFGHANISTAN IS!!!! IT'S NOT THE NOVELIZATION OF THAT DOCUMENTARY SHAH DID!!!!! STOP TREATING IT LIKE THAT!!!! YOU'RE BELITTLING HER WORK!!!!

Thank you for your time.

-Greg Levine

Okay, I feel better. On second thought, I'm not sure if I should sign my name there. I could get into trouble. ._.!

Recouperating

I'm running on 4 hours of actual sleep, then maybe a nap for a half hour or so. Yay smarts.

My mom's been bugging me about what I want for Christmas. I dunno what I want. All I can think of are Magic singles, and even then I don't quite know what I want (thoguh I bet I'll get a few ideas after the states Champs decklists from next weekend (Standard), and the PT LA lists from the week after that (Extended). Other than that though... I dunno.

I'm too out of it to do a full list. I'll prolly put up a few shorter ones later tonight.

This Is Important

Maybe not to you, but I wanna remember this stuff. Bookmarking is for chumps.

The decks I need to rememer:
Aggro Rock

5 Forest
2 Karplusan Forest
4 Llanowar Wastes
1 Mountain
7 Swamp
4 Wooded Foothills

4 Birds of Paradise
4 Flametongue Kavu
3 Llanowar Elves
4 Sakura-Tribe Elder
4 Troll Ascetic

4 Cabal Therapy
4 Call of the Herd
4 Pernicious Deed
3 Smother
3 Sword of Fire and Ice

S/B:
3 Cranial Extraction
4 Duress
4 Engineered Plague
4 Naturalize

Control Rock:

// Lands
2 Bloodstained Mire
6 Forest
4 Llanowar Wastes
1 Mountain
4 Swamp
4 Karplusan Forest
2 Wooded Foothills

// Creatures
3 Eternal Witness
3 Ravenous Baloth
3 Flametongue Kavu
4 Sakura-Tribe Elder
4 Birds of Paradise

// Spells
4 Pernicious Deed
4 Cabal Therapy
4 Living Wish
4 Terminate
4 Duress

// Sideboard
SB: 1 Ravenous Baloth
SB: 1 Flametongue Kavu
SB: 1 Visara the Dreadful
SB: 1 Genesis
SB: 1 Viridian Zealot
SB: 3 Engineered Plague
SB: 3 Artifact Mutation
SB: 3 Cranial Extraction

I'll prolly be making some combination of those two decks, using my four Spiritmongers that I've been itching to used for a while.

'Tog:

3 Bloodstained Mire
7 Island
2 Mountain
4 Polluted Delta
4 Shivan Reef
2 Swamp
22 land

1 Flametongue Kavu
1 Meloku the Clouded Mirror
3 Psychatog
5 creatures

4 Chrome Mox
4 Counterspell
4 Fact or Fiction
4 Fire/Ice
4 Isochron Scepter
4 Mana Leak
4 Terminate
4 Thirst for Knowledge
1 Upheaval
33 other spells

2 Cranial Extraction
4 Engineered Plague
2 Flametongue Kavu
4 Overload
1 Upheaval
2 Zombie Infestation
15 sideboard cards

I always liked my 'Tog splashed with red. ^_^

Balancing 'Tings:

// Lands

3 [OD] Timberland Ruins
4 [IN] Archaeological Dig
3 [OD] Seafloor Debris
4 [IN] Ancient Spring
4 [IN] Geothermal Crevice
4 [IN] Tinder Farm
3 [IN] Irrigation Ditch
2 [IN] Sulfur Vent

// Creatures
4 [OD] Terravore
3 [OD] Nimble Mongoose
3 [JU] Anurid Brushhopper

// Spells
3 [OD] Balancing Act
2 [IN] Obliterate
4 [JU] Burning Wish
4 [AP] Fire/Ice
4 [IN] Chromatic Sphere
3 [OD] Moment's Peace
3 [CHK] Gifts Ungiven

Look ma! No basic lands! Seriously, that looks awesome to play, I just need to get the cards.

Sigh... That's the problem with being poor. All of those decks want 4-ofs of cards I don't own, and are premium rares. I'll either have to build around it, make some trades I'm not sure I want to make, or just pony up the money instead of buying boosters and drafts fo the next few months. Hrmm... I suppose for a trip to Hawaii, though, it would be worth it.

Any of you have any suggestions? Or maybe, some cards you'd like to trade? *Puppydogeyes.* Cuz you LOVE ME?

AHA!

I love getting BJ's. It's my way of giving something back. ^_^

Meaningless Pipes

On Star Trek, it seems that every room has specialized vents that can pump whatever they feel like into the atmosphere? Was someone literally designing the ship and thinking this:

You know what we need? Some way to pump in poison to every room on the ship at a moments notice. Yes, whenever we want. And a few times we don't want it, just for dramatic tension.

Man, we are stupid in the future.

I've got another one of my half-assed urges to create. I don't know exactly what just yet, but believe me, when I find out, you'll be the first to know.

Something else was on my mind, but I don't know quite what, exactly. Oh well. Take care. I'm sure I won't.....

Aha! Jack Thompson!!! He's being a jackass again. Here he is doing it on his own. Masturbationary assholism, I guess. This article prompted me to switch my buddy icon. You can even see him yelling at the guys from PA. Now though, someone has risen to his half-assed challenge. Actually, I'm sure a lot of people have, but the ones I saw first were the awesome folks at Old Grandma Hardcore. I've linked there before, but I just thought it was cool, and I seriously wanna play their game.

Of course, the total bullshit about the whole situation is that it costs more than $10,000 to market a full video game these days, so any company that wanted to answer Jack's shit (pun somewhat intended; it just rolls off the tongue so easily) would be better off just donating their own $10,000.

Silly (Jack-)rabbit, Games aren't just for kids.

Early Retirement

About my Google Ads:

Effervescence 34: yeah, its lame
Effervescence 34: i just felt like putting it on there
Effervescence 34: its like... extra
Effervescence 34: i dunno
Effervescence 34: maybe i'll donate it to charity or something
Effervescence 34: or maybe i'll get lucky and one of these days my blog will become an internet sensation
Effervescence 34: that would rock
Effervescence 34: people would be all
Effervescence 34: "oh greg, you're so awesome, let us give you free money and gifts"
Effervescence 34: and i'd be all
Effervescence 34: yay early retirement

Yet Another Reason I'm Jealous Of Chicks

They get musical breast implants! O_O. Seriously, this is like, the biggest scientific breakthrough ever. Soon the cyborgs of the future will be all around us, unseen, with mechanics working beneath the skin, and they'll be subtly better than us, and never have to tell us so.

Personally, an MP3 player isn't gonna cut it for me. I want an entire computer. With wireless Internet. I would never lose any argument, or at least, I would always reach the truth. More than half of Matt and my discussions about who was in what movie, or something really trivial like that, arise in the cafeteria, where we don't have access to the Internet and all its wonderful search features. I would love to have a back- or thigh-mounted computer, and a Heads-up-Display that just overlays with my eyes (adjustable transparency, of course). I would constantly be browsing porn and such during classes, though, which might be bad. Ah well, I'll be an evil cyborg. Or at least... Chaotic Neutral, or something. I don't play D&D.

...

Seriously, I don't.

Edit: I mispelled the word access. Thanks James for unintentionally pointing it out to me.

Building Up A Rampage

This is a nifty comic. Of course, the only reason I linked it is cause I wanted to open a "BlogThis" window, which is the best feature I ever saw for Firefox. *Nods.* But it is a good comic. It's made my bookmarks folder.

Anyway, the reason I wanted to write tonight was twofold, maybe more. First, I have a paper to write for english due tonight, which will not be fun, and I was not in a writing mood today. Secondly, and more interestingly, something came up in the school newspaper today.

Apparently, some English priest denounced Harry Potter publicly lately. Big whoop, another fanatic crying out against Wizards and Witchcraft and such evils. But the twist is, he didn't have any complaints against the magic. Instead, he accused Harry Potter of sticking his wand where it didn't go. Anyway, that triggered a couple articles on the topic in the Daily Toreador's opinion page. One pro, one con. Both focused strictly on the movies. I found it hard to believe that there's no one on the school newspaper that's read the actual books, but anyway, I read those, and had to fire back a counter opinion. To both of them. That's right, Harry Potter is neither gay nor straight. And no, before you ask, he's not bi, either. Just check it out.

While a simple reading of the latest book will tell that Harry does have something of an eye for the ladies (He hooks up with Ron's sister, Ginny), I think that there is a larger issue both articles have missed. Harry Potter is neither homo- or hetero-sexual. He is Asexual. Just look at any other similar epic series, which undoubtably the Harry Potter series is. Consider the quests of Luke Skywalker and Frodo Baggins. Both of them extremely eligible bachelors in their own rights, one being a valiant warrior and the other single-handedly saving Middle Earth. At the end of each of their journeys, the hero ends up alone. Leia got with Han while Luke became a celibate Jedi Master, and Frodo, for all the talks about he and Sam being more than friends, ends up leaving his home behind as well, joining Gandalf and the elves across the see, far from any other halfling. Even Neo, the Matrix's own personal savior, is left alone at the end, with Trinity done in by an I-beam. To put it simply, the hero's life is a lonely one. Harry Potter doesn't have time to worry about girls (or guys). He's got a world to save.

(Edit: Yeech Gods that was ugly looking. I fixed it. No more weird wrapping.)

Of course, the point of all this is that, hey, don't fret over Harry's sexuality. It's just a book, and the fact that it IS a book, the kind of book it is, and the character that Harry has, precludes any need for arguments about who Harry sleeps with.

Sigh... I got an email back, and they told me it was worth printing, cept they didn't have some details. x_x... It's a terrible opinion piece. I'm really ashamed of it. You've all read the things I write. I can do much better than this. Oh well. I'll link to the article if it gets printed tomorrow.

In other news.... Magic tournament tomorrow. Type 2. I'm considering what deck to use. Should I give Tooth and Nail one last go, knowing that it's probably hated out of the format there (the players here look a little more serious than the ones back at DSC in Lakeline)? Or should I swing in with the Mono-Black deck and see what all it can do to a semi-unsuspecting field? I think I'll go with the Tooth deck this week. If Matt feels like joining in, I'll lend him the Mono-Black. It IS free, after all.

Speaking of gaming, I watched an episode of the new Yugioh GX show today. Still the same stupid game, but I was sort of intrigued by the format. In the origial show, just about every single game they played was in some way "for the fate of the world." Just like when you watch Mortal Kombat, you know none of the heroes are going to ever lose, you know Yugi can't lose, because it would mean the bad guys destroy the world, or wahteever the threat du jour is. But GX is just some kid trying to work his way through duelests academy, which is like Harry Potter's magic school, in that they specialize in some niche thing, and completely avoid academics, as near as I can tell. I would kill to go to a Magic:TG school like that. It would be awesome. But yeah, the reason this works more for me as a show is because each game they play is just that: a game. The good guy doesn't HAVE to win. If he loses, oh well. It keeps the result pretty well up in the air. Don't get me wrong, the show is still pretty awful. Poor dubbing, terrible plot lines, and the rules of the game are simply awful. But it's got that one thing going for it, at least. And it DID make me want to go to a Magic University. That would be killer.

Lessee... The ankle is healing somewhat. I wish I had some Neosporin for it. I kept in a bit today, even when Matt took my laptop to try and use it for GPS. Turns out that I don't have the right connector for it. But yeah, it gave my computer a good solid restart, and me a chance to catch up on the latest Negima.

I'm starting to ramble. I wanted to add in the following quotes from AIM, simply because they're that rediculous. Enjoy

CAR Riedmann: ickkkk my mom's watching High Tension. I want to puke.
Effervescence 34: never heard of that, what is it?
CAR Riedmann: Horror Movie.
CAR Riedmann: They took it out of theaters ... NC-17 Bloodier then eff.
Effervescence 34: yikes
CAR Riedmann: Nice, he cuts off the girls head and well. Forces oral sex?
Effervescence 34: exciting
CAR Riedmann: It'd be interesting?
Effervescence 34: heh
CAR Riedmann: deep-throat with no choking!
Effervescence 34: o_o
Effervescence 34: if you deep throat a decapitated head... isnt your cock gonna be sticking out in the open air?
Effervescence 34: eewww
CAR Riedmann: lmao.

Effervescence 34: so wassup?
dysthymicquokka: homework
Effervescence 34: exciting
dysthymicquokka: extreamly
dysthymicquokka: im going to orgasm just thinking about it
Effervescence 34: dont get the paper wet
dysthymicquokka: you dont think the teacher would like that?
Effervescence 34: depends
Effervescence 34: is he straight/she lesbian?
Effervescence 34: or bi, in either case
dysthymicquokka: its a she, and i doubt she is lesbian
Effervescence 34: hrmm
dysthymicquokka: but maybe it will just be so potent because algebra is so arousing it would make her lesbian
Effervescence 34: these numbers look so wrong, but the smell so good!
Effervescence 34: o_o
Effervescence 34: i suppose its worth a shot
dysthymicquokka: haha
Effervescence 34: lemme know how it turns out, i'll remember to masturbate during tests
Effervescence 34: o_0
dysthymicquokka: haha
dysthymicquokka: okay

Also, just fyi, Hurricanes go counterclockwise. So if you need to outrun one, run in circles to the left. *Nods.*

Clop Clip

I had a dream last night that someone for the news wanted me to walk down the stairs. It was the most stressful stairs-walking experience of my life.

Walking on its own has become a bit of a challenge for me. "Clop clip." That's the sound I make as I walk down the hallway. I got some new shoes a while ago, and I decided to bring them along with me. You know, so I'm not just going around in sandals in the cold Lubbock winter. Anyway, the shoes are bad. I don't wanna complain about it, I mean, theres nothing I can do to fix it. I set myself up for it. Limping on its own makes me feel guilty, because its enough to let everyone around me know that yes, I'm vaguely invalid, but its not pronounced enough to make anyone who doesn't know me (a.k.a. anyone at all) ask what's bothering me. Oh well. I'm tired.

"Clop clip."

EDIT: I never did mention why I'm limping, really. When I said the shoes are bad, I meant that they rub against my heels. My left heel particularly (maybe that foot is bigger or something). I got a blister there, and even now that it's gone, I still have a little wound or something right there on my Achilles Tendon, which, when walking, tends to hurt. I've been trying my best to keep off it though, and only walk when I absolutely have to, hoping that it'll heal a little quicker that way. But yeah, since I first wrote this, I've gone from trying badly to hide the limp to having to walk about barefoot on tip toes because of the pain. x_x.

Giddy

Oh wow. Today I was just randomly hyper all afternoon. I can't explain it. Oh well. I guess I had gotten on a roll after yesterday's huge story thing. I'm full on with so much enegry, its crazy.

Speaking of crazy things - Download Ichigo Mashimaro from a torrent site. It's not licenced in America, so its still free. And it is THE CUTEST ANIME EVER! You must watch it. *Nods.* I'm also confused about how they WOULD release it english, since one of the major characters is an exchange student from Britan, and a major factor in her character is that she doesn't want people to know how localized she is. I'm just not sure how that would translate well... I'm sure someone will figure it out. *Nods.*

Okay, bedtime. Night all.

I Have A Dream

Any level 3 judges out there wanna tutor me? Please? I wanna be certified. Judges get sweet promos and stuff... I WANT THAT! Sigh... I know the stuff. The trick is finding someone who I can prove it to.

Hrmm.... Today's topic for debate with Matt: What constitutes soverign? Native Americans? The Galactic Empire? Ewoks? Buffalo? The Death Star?

Also for discussion: Was the Empire evil? I'd say no. True, the Emperor himself was evil, but for the most part, his government ran smoothly to provide safety for the majority of citizens. In that sense, it was a good government. Some of their actions may be questionable by our standards, but then again, we committed genocide against the indiginous American Tribes, so it's all relative.

And finally, this is not up for any questioning: Ichigo Mashimaro is KAWAII CUTE!

It's A Good Day

The story below is long. Five pages in OpenOffice, if that means anything to you. The idea came to me between classes this morning, and though its switched a little from the original idea, I like what I have here. I was originally just going to write out the point of view of the 2nd character, the hero, but as I went through it in my mind, I just felt like it needed the other point of view too. I hope you like it. Oh yeah, and comments are welcome, in responce to that entry, if you could, not this one.

Other than that, I had a good nights sleep. I have to write a program that will play a game of Blackjack using some classes I created for class, so that'll be enjoyable. And then, who knows? I'll be doing whatever for however long I feel like it. No real plans, though. I'm dead after writing for some 3 hours or more. I'll take my leave now.

Oh yeah, I found my D20 from Champions that Derek gave me, so now I'm up to 2 full sized Magic dice, plus the tiny one that I've been using from that Star Trek game.

And then.... It won't let me post this. X_X What a jerk, Blogger.

Confict

This city is a jungle. You've got your big, tough predators, the companies, the giant beasts that you can't take down, but who think nothing of eliminating a few small fries for lunch. Theres the bottom feeders, those who fight amongst themselves for the limited scraps they can live off, if you call that living. Then there's me, and those like me. Entrepreneurs, I'd say; the ones who can find sustenance through more creative ways. The city is full of little pockets of unprotected cash, ripe for the picking.

I've lean back into the shadows, next to a dumpster. Like this, I look like a bum to anyone who gives me a passing glance, and no one gives me more than that. Every once in a while a stranger will drop a coin at my feet, and I'm not too proud to take it, but that's not why I'm here. Here I have a view of every passer-by unnoticed. The great thing about this city is that there's never a down time. Even now, in the dead of night, the streets have dozens of people walking through to home, from home, between their various escapades, legitimate or otherwise. I honestly don't care. I'm not a judge, or a jury; I'm just hungry.

Here comes someone. A woman, looks middle age. She's wearing bright colors, too bright for someone on business, but she's not hooking. Probably came back late from a date, and judging from her age, and her suspicious glances, she doesn't want her husband to know. She glances at her watch. She's in a hurry. 'Go on,' I think at her, 'Take the alley. It's a short cut.' Whether she heard me or not, she decides to try the alley. Perfect.

I listen to her heels click down the concrete. I don't even need to look to know she's out of view from the main street. I get up and start walking down that way after her, keeping my posture slouched and slowly shuffling from one leg to another. I slow count to twenty, at which point I know I'm invisible from the street too. I straighten my posture and break into a silent run. I can still hear her shoes clicking. They slow, almost stop. She's reached the dark period, where the lights have failed. She can't see the alley to the other end. But she knows its there; she keeps going, click click, click click. 'Good girl.' Only a few meters now. I slowly draw my sword.

Some of my peers have decided to embrace the times. Every couple of days I'll hear the sharp bang of a gunshot piercing the night. It's almost immediately followed by the wails of the police alarm, and the clatter of action as every available officer in earshot dashes to the scene. Amateur. Several more gunshots follow, and more often than not, I have less competition.

“Don't scream. Don't move. Don't make a sound.” I press my blade against her throat. It's near pitch black, but even if she can't see it, she'll feel the sharp edge against her pretty little neck. She let out a little gasp, but nothing more. “Good, I'd have hated to have to slice you. Just give me your purse.” As an after thought, I add “And the jewelery.” I didn't pick out anything in particular, but since she was probably leaving her man-on-the-side, she was probably carrying some extra 'I love you' presents with her. I grin inwardly as I see her reach for the purse. I whisper in her ear soothingly. “That's it, just drop it on the ground, then go home like a good girl. If you look at me, I'll be the last thing you ever see.”

I hear the thud of something dropping to the ground, but it's not her purse. No, this is too heavy. And it's from behind me... For a split second I consider slicing the lady's throat and just running. No, not worth it. I'm not stupid enough to murder someone with a witness. I release the lady and she sprints for the far side of the alley.. I can't deal with both of these people at once, and the person behind me obviously wants my attention. I turn and face the man as I address him: “You've just cost me a lot of money, stranger. Are you gonna repay me?”

“I'd suggest you go home, friend, and make an honest living.” I hate this kind of do-gooder crap. I see it at least once a month. Some sheep thinks he can be a hero. Thinks he can step in and tell me what to do because “he's right”.

Pfeh. “I'd suggest you go home, friend, and mind your own goddamn business.” I draw my blade and point it towards him. That usually scares them off. It's sad really. When they run, I never make any money for the night. Sometimes I'll get lucky and the fool doesn't know when it's time to leave. Dueling laws apply then. I'm within my rights to kill him and loot the corpse. Or vice versa. 'Yeah, right.'

I'm in luck, I guess. He's not running. I take a few steps towards him, just so he knows I'm serious. He draws his own blade. I am in luck indeed. I look at him, and he looks back into my eyes. This is happening here, in this dimly lit alley. No more need for words.

I lunge into him. I feel a surge of adrenaline as his blade rises to block my own. Ah, good, he knows how to use his sword. I'm in the mood for a challenge tonight. Suddenly, I think, this isn't about right or wrong. It's just a match of blades. If anyone was right, anyway, it was me. I was doing what I had to in order to survive. And I picked a target who deserved it too. Then this 'hero' jumps in and decides he's gonna tell me what's right and what's not. Pfeh. I spit at him and take another lash at him.

He sidesteps, dodging both my spit and my steel. This guy isn't bad, I realize slowly. I can still take him, but it'll take a little extra work. I concentrate all my energy at him. With every fiber in my being, suddenly, I hate him. I want him to die. I want him to no longer be here. I no longer care about whether what I was doing was right, or wrong, or whatever. All I know in that moment is that he needs to be dead by my sword. I press my attack, drawing him backwards. He manages to block me, bit for bit, but as I look into his eyes, I just see a cool calm. He doesn't have the drive behind him to win this. Our swords clash, over and over again. It's only a matter of time before I've over powered him, before he's gone forever.

* * *

I like the city at night. The cool air and black night are matched by the energy from the citizens and the multicolored buildings. Each monolith stands blazing away, advertising its presence and its contents to anyone who's there to see. I've seen them all so often that I no longer take them in as individual buildings, or individual words. I simply see a broad mountain range, lighting up the night. My home. Lighting the way back for me.

I used to go out and take in the sights. When I first moved here, after my shift was done and I had nothing to do, I'd go out and stroll down the streets and alleys. People always try to tell you that the city's a lost cause. It's nothing but crime, corruption, and sleaze. Those are the people who don't stay long. They're people who get scared off by the sound of a car backfiring or more than two motorcycles passing them on the road. Sure, the crime is there, and the corruption, and the sleaze. You get enough people in one place, it's bound to come along.

I saw a different side, though, on my walks. I saw the people, ordinary, everyday people, just trying to make their way through life. I'm not about to discount a city of two million for a few bad eggs.

I meet nice people on my walks. I'll pass by shop owners as they're closing up for the day. Often I'll get a scrap or two that was left over at closing time. They were just gonna throw it away, but I offer to take it off their hands. I'd drop a few bits and scraps into the near-empty hats sitting in front of beggars. Something to feed them, not get them drunk. After a few weeks of this, one of the shop owners got curious what I was doing with all her extra meat. I lead her down one of my walks, and we began to talk while I spread my scraps about town.

Eventually, as the clocks rolled over from 12 to 1, we decided it was time to call it a night. She glanced ahead. “This is where we split, I think.” She pointed down an alleyway. She'd been in town long enough to know that you never let a kind stranger walk you all the way home. As she walked down the alley, I glanced wistfully until she began to fade into the dark, then headed home myself.

I was maybe a half block away when I noticed I still had her coat over my arm. It'd been a rainy morning, but a warm evening, so she didn't need it, and I offered to hold it for her. I cursed at myself for being so stupid, then turned and tried to catch her. I ran down the alley to find her being held by a gruff-looking man. They both saw me at the same time, and I could see a look of fear in her eyes, and surprise in his. She opened her lips to scream for help, but as soon as she could, her throat was slit by the man's sword.

“Bastard!” I yelled. It's a mistake, and I should have known it. If he's willing to kill her, he'd also be willing to kill me. Yelling only drew attention to the man, agitated him. Not a good move on my part. His attention is fully on me.

“You want a piece of this too?” he asked. “Like your girlfriend?” He shrugged at the shop-keep's body. I hadn't even known her name. I didn't have any idea what to do. I froze. “Guess so,” he half-laughed, and began to walk towards me. He was in for a duel. Though the somewhat archaic practice was usually held on specified grounds of honor, the laws were set up so that a duel could take place any time, and in any place, a loop hole that was frequently abused by those with weapons in public.

I looked at him fearfully. I didn't have a weapon. I'd never thought such a thing could happen to me, getting caught in a duel. I knew that all I had to do was run, and the duel was negated, but I couldn't. I didn't want to leave the girl's body to this monster, unremembered, and abandoned in a cowardly act. I wanted to stand and fight, and honor her memory.

As he moved towards me, readying a killing blow, I panicked. Reflexes took over, and I reached out for anything that could be used as a weapon. I reached behind me and caught the lid of a garbage can in my right hand. I swung it around and pushed his sword away. It surprised him enough that I was able to push my momentary advantage. I pushed the lid square into his face. He fell to the ground cold. I didn't know what to do after. I cried for help, then ran straight to the police station. Still acting the coward. When we got to the site, the criminal was long gone, and the girl's corpse had been looted thoroughly.

I could have taken that guy. I could have killed him, brought the girl some real justice, not been a coward. I should have been able to stand up for what I knew was right. Ever since then, I've looked for ways to do that. I looked up the dueling laws, and now know them through and through. I got a good sword. You can't duel with a pistol, and your bare fists'll get you killed quick against a real opponant. I'd gotten lucky the first time. I had to be ready after that.

So here I am. I still go on the same walks I used to. I see the same people. But I'm not looking for them. I'm not looking for the nice girls who'll talk to me all night long. I'm looking for the creeps out there who want to kill the nice girls. And I think I just found one.

As I walk down the sidewalk, I spy a beggar rising from his seat in the shadows. He walks down the dark alley way, following a woman who was a few meters ahead of me. I recognize the signs right away, and as soon as he has his back turned, I make my move. I leap up, bounding off one wall of the narrow alley, then the other, back and forth until I've landed on a roof top. I check down again. No sign of the beggar or the woman. I move along the roof until I see them. He's snuck up behind her, his blade to her throat. When he starts to whisper in her ear, I ready myself.

A quick jump off the one story ledge and I'm standing behind him. The sound of my landing wasn't graceful. It could have been, but I wanted him to know I was here. Good, I see him let the woman go. He's a smart one. As he turns to face me, he almost snarls at me. “You've just cost me a lot of money, stranger. Are you gonna repay me?”

'As though you'd done anything to earn that money,' I think to myself. Not wanting to chide the man, I simply offer a way out for him. “I'd suggest you go home, friend, and make an honest living.” Heh. It sounds like something out of an action serial. What made me think he was gonna listen to that? I need to work on my heroic lines.

“I'd suggest you go home, friend.” He spits the last word back at me, letting me know that I am nothing of the sort to him. “...And mind your own goddamn business.” He's right, on one level. It's not really my business, is it? I didn't know the woman, and I don't know him, not that I really needed to to do what I'm about to do. But then again, I know what he was doing was wrong. That alone made it my business. Wrongs were being done. I had the power to set things right. It was my responsibility to that woman, and to all the good people in the city, to set things right.

He raises his blade towards me, signaling a duel challenge. He was willing to kill a woman over her purse in cold blood, but now he's going to do them by the book. Fine by me. I stand my ground, and slowly draw my own sword. He thinks he can make it all better by playing by the rules. He can't. He's wrong. His entire evening has been nothing but wrong. I'm going to set him right, one way or another.

He takes a few steps forward, and I draw my sword to meet him. He lunges towards me, hoping to scare me and slice me in one big swing. I'm not so green. I lift my blade up and block. His eyes light up. This guy wants a fight, it seems. He's in luck; I'm ready to give him one.

He's signaling his moves. He spits at me and takes another slash. It's a simple matter to dodge both of them. I don't want to attack him, yet. He's still fighting tight enough that I don't have any space to hit him. I back up, out of the dim alleyway, and let the lights shine on him. Now I can read every move he's giving me.

His eyes narrow, either from the glare of the lights or just to show his hatred towards me. Maybe it's both. I can look in his eyes and see a deep rage built up. He's started to fight from his emotions. That's never a good sign. His emotions are going to eventually overcome him and be his destruction. All I have to do is survive that long. If I weren't currently dueling him, I'd probably try to tell him to calm down, take a breath, think things through. Of course, I am, so I'm willing to let his emotions power him straight on into a loss.

He lets out an angry scream as he starts slashing at me wildly. Wow, this guy really wants me dead. I block each of his sword swipes, deflecting them. Each time, he recoils and resumes his attack, but each time he does so a little more sloppy than the last time. Each time he moves his feet a little bit more out of formation. It's only a matter of time before...

There! I block one last slash, then slide right for his heart. One twist of my sword and the man is done. One less villain in the world. One less wrong for me to right. He looks up at me with his last dying breath and asks me “Why? Why couldn't you just... leave me... alone?” His body shudders one last time, and he's dead before I give him my answer.

“Because it wouldn't be right.”