Toilet Seats

So Jackie went and sent me this comic, thereby sparking the age old (apparently) debate about guys leaving the toilet up. I'd never really understood it. I always got it confused, thinking I should leave the seat UP, so it doesn't get dirty. Either that or I should leave the whole thing, seat and cover both down, to keep stuff from getting out, like in the movie Dreamcatcher. Only, not aliens.

Now, to be fair, I grew up in a house with two younger brothers as my only siblings, and through it all, my mom had a personal attached bathroom to her bedroom. She would often lock herself in there for stretches and read her romance novels. In any case, in a house dominated by males, we'd never considered that someone could actually not pay attention and FALL IN. I had never even considered it until just today, when a couple girls told me. Perhaps its just how I was raised, going from sharing bathrooms with both brothers, to sharing them with just PJ the one year we lived on Allison Rd, to having my own personal bathroom in Austin. And again, I'd shared public bathrooms at restaurants with just other men. Even the facilities here at Bledsoe, which all sit down models (no urinals), are shared by only men. So the idea of thinking specifically about a woman coming in and having to use the toilet after me may simply have never crossed my mind.

But I don't see why men have to do all the work. I mean, I occasionally have to sit on a toilet, too (it's called pooping), and I haven't ever fallen in, even after sharing facilities just with men. Do you ladies want to know why? Because I CHECK before I sit down. I don't just back into the stall and plop down. I walk in, facing the toilet, close the door if there's a stall, and check. I mean, how hard is it to look at a toilet and think, "Oh my, no, my butt could fit right through there"?

And then, once you've identified the problem (which is the big reason chicks fall in), you have to *Gasp* lower that seat. Oh, such hard work, going with gravity and all. Oh no, we'll have none of that. Make guys lift (work against gravity) AND lower.

WTF?

Come on, take some personal responsibility. It's not my fault if you don't check where your ass is going. But with all the other things guys do to be nice to girls, like holding doors open, pulling out chairs, paying for the dates, do you really have to ask us to lower a seat for you too? Do you want us to think you really are that helpless? Or retarded?

Again, to be fair, this is not the most retarded thing I've ever heard from a woman. In the intrest of fair play, here it is: When I was in debate class in high school, one of my classmates was a girl named Amanda. I don't remember her last name, but she was, in my mind at least, hot. Not like, movie star sexy gorgeous, but she had something about her that made me like looking at her. But she said some of the dumbest things about girls in general, it was almost funny except she was serious. The incident in question, the one that will forever stick out in my mind, was some discussion of date rape. I don't remember exactly how the class got to talking about this, but her position was basically that if a girl is dressing in sexy / revealing / appealing clothes to a party, she's basically asking to have sex, and shouldn't complain about being raped. That was, and is still, in my mind, the most retarded things I've ever heard. A girl who looks pretty is not asking to be raped. No one ever is. And anyone who thinks that a sexy dress is an excuse to rape the wearer has some sort of problem.

The story has a happy ending though. One of the teachers, a woman, spoke up and said, "Well, Amanda, what you're wearing could be considered overly sexy." It was true. "Does that mean you're giving all the guys in this class permission to rape you?" Before Amanda had a chance to answer, I spoke up. Keeping my right hand on the mouse so I could play Snood, I raised my left fist in the air and shouted "Lets go!"

Stephen Merrit gave me a high five for that.

EDIT: Oh yeah, my proposed solution to the toilet seat thing: I've decided to start an agressive campaign of leaving toilet seats up. Even when I poop. Seat goes up. Take that.

Either that, or I cover up the whole seat, just so they can see what it's like to lift the seat.